The Sun And The Stars •completed•

Illuminated

The dawn light pierced so brightly into the bus that Audrey awoke with a squint, shielding her eyes with her forearm. Somehow during the night, she had ended up on Eli's lap, with her pillow and everything, blanket sloppily thrown over her.

She couldn't remember doing it herself, and a blush warmed her cheeks as she realized who'd done it for her. Slowly bringing her forearm down, she looked up, where Eli was already awake, writing again in that beaten up journal. He hadn't noticed her yet, so she just watched quietly, as the dawns light illuminated his messy hair into magnificent golds and yellows and whites.

"Morning." She said softly, but he was still startled, closing his book abruptly. Audrey raised an eyebrow. He stared down at her, and she wanted to brush her fingertips over his freckles. There they were, sprinkled all over, different sizes and shapes if she looked closely. Even different shades of brown. How could it be, that a person could hold an entire galaxy in their face?

Audrey sat up and took her pill, checking the time on her phone. Eli watched her go, and tapped on his journal. "Can I ask you a question?" Audrey flashed a warm smile at him, tying up her hair. "Anything."

"Why hasn't your Mom tried to call you?" He pointed to the phone in her hand. Audrey swallowed and frowned, slightly embarrassed. "I- um, I blocked her number. She's probably tried to call and text about a thousand times by now. Blocked my grandparents too." Audrey tucked her hair behind her ears and shrugged, "If I talk to her, I know I'll back out of it."

"Aren't you worried she'll try to track your phone?" Eli sat up a little, moving her pillow and blanket off of his lap. "No," Audrey scoffed, "I'm not a minor. I didn't go missing, I didn't even run away. As far as the rest of the world is concerned, I'm on a vacation." Eli looked away, and Audrey's lips twisted into a frown.

"Okay, my turn." She moved back over to him. "What's the journal for?" Eli gripped the journal tighter. "Seriously?" Audrey guffawed, "I thought the secrecy thing was done between us." Eli looked into her big, breathtaking eyes, and sighed. Wordlessly, he handed his journal to her, the worn black cover practically falling off of it.

Excitedly, she took it from him, looking down at it. Eli watched a strand of her hair fall in front of her face, and felt an urge to tuck it back into place. The sun had changed her hair. He suddenly realized just how much time she'd spent at home, seeing that in only a week, her hair already had blonde and red streaks from its exposure to the sunlight.

Audrey started to flick through the book, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "It's just point form. It's just a list of things that happen every day." He explained as she flicked through. She stopped flicking and peered up at him. "Why?" She asked.

Eli went to scratch his wrist nervously, but was stopped by his wristband, so he scratched over top of that instead. "I sometimes forget things." He said quietly, "I don't have the best memory, and sometimes I remember things that didn't- that didn't happen." He looked down. "So I started writing in this book a couple years ago, so if I can't remember when stuff happened, or I don't know if it's a real memory..." He trailed off, ashamed.

"Am I in it?" Audrey asked, deciding it best not to dwell on something Eli was so embarrassed about. He looked back up. "Uh- well..." Audrey flicked through to find the right date and then stopped. "Met a girl; Audrey." She started, smiling, "Very chatty and annoying." She gasped and looked up, her mouth agape. "I can't believe-"

"Wait!" Eli interrupted, his hands up in defense, "Keep reading." Audrey eyed him suspiciously, but complied. "So beautiful it's distracting. Almost inhumane for me to be sitting so close to her." Audrey bit her lip and scrunched her nose up. "You're forgiven." She said, closing his book and handing it back to him.

There was a moment then, as Eli took the book from her and smiled, that Audrey got a new feeling. Something burst inside her chest, and she was tingling all over and it was scary. She decided to ignore it, but it didn't go away.

Eli got out The Bell Jar and started to read it, and Audrey rested her head on his shoulder. He just did his little breath of a laugh, and the burst in Audrey's chest intensified, becoming fireworks that started to go off constantly. She half listened to the sound of his low voice, as he softly read the story.

There was an easiness to the way he read, the way he didn't really look at the words, because he already knew them, the way his lips would twitch up when he knew he was about to read something funny, or how his eyebrows would furrow when he was about to read something terribly relatable to himself.

Audrey watched him, her face turned up towards him on his shoulder. The fireworks wouldn't stop and it was as if Eli was everything. Everything that she'd ever missed out on, personified. And for the first time, Audrey Kepler wondered if she was in love.

In her logical mind, she knew it wasn't possible. No, it couldn't be. People didn't fall in love in a week. You can't fall in love with someone in a week. You certainly can't say you love someone after knowing them a week. You can't say you love someone after knowing them a month. Audrey told herself that it was her naivety getting the best of her.

But, in a deeper, more honest part of her mind, she knew the truth. She knew that this was not how she felt for Tommy or James. These fireworks, the way they fizzled through her body. The way she couldn't find a fault, not a single fault. This overwhelming need to keep him safe, to make him happy. She never got bored of him, rather, she craved more of him, no matter how much time they spent together, no matter how close she got to him.

And if Audrey wasn't in love, then she was feeling something frighteningly close to it. As she looked at the boy next to her, his dark eyes scanning the pages of his book lightly, she wondered if he was feeling the same things.

Eli was feeling something enormous and unfamiliar and scary. He couldn't place it, and he couldn't put it into words. He'd never felt anything so strong and so real. The feeling was made worse (or was it better?) anytime he looked at Audrey. He could feel her looking at him then, but kept his eyes glued to his book.

He was afraid of feeling any more of it. He had no clue he was capable of feeling this much in the first place, and was scared he might burst. Everything that was warm and bright and beautiful radiated off of Audrey.

He was like the pitch black of the night, and she was like the dawn sun, radiating rays of light into his dark consciousness. She made him something new, something better, perhaps something he was always supposed to be. Was that love? Eli wasn't ready to know the answer.