Through the fire and flames ~ a TWDG fanfic

Episode One - Chapter Three

SEASON 1, EPISODE 1, CHAPTER 3: Bad Romance (Written by M)

Clem's POV

So I was still sick of these people, and I thought about running away and all but I was still freaking injured. This sucked majorly. And now we had this new guy in our group, Tank Dempsey, who was a dominant, handsome man. But I was still sick of everybody except for Sarah, since she was still the only reasonable freaking person there. Maybe I kind of had too much fun blackmailing Rebecca, but i mean she was a ho and i'm just taking karma or jesus or satan's work into my own hands. SOMEBODY has to make sure to keep this baby daddy (that's what Lee told me they were called) drama in line and not let it get too messy.

Well, that's a total lie because I kind of spent most of my time watching the seriously stupid and ridiculous drama these people got into.

"But what if Alvin actually was the dad and the baby turns out to be like an obese mini-Lee?" I told Sarah, cringing. She cringed too at the thought. What a cringeworthy thought, seriously. Lee was too handsome to be fat.

"That's like so crazy, Clem," Sarah said. She agrees with the stuff I say so she's pretty much cool in my book and shit. I also thought she was cute since she was close to my age but I'm too fucking cynical for a relationship (I never said I couldn't have crushes on girls too! Just not older men like Pete even if his beard is very handsome and dark and sexual)

"Ok but what if the baby's a girl, do you think she'll be a major biatch like her mom?" I asked.

"OMG SWEAR"

"Sarah oh my fucking God I told you to get over it already, there are probably kids starving in Africa or something with REAL problems like half of my family since I'm mixed and I can't deal with this petty shit right now."

"Okay I GUESS you have a point." She made a very depressed and emo face at me behind those almost-hipster-but-not-full-hipster rose glasses

"Whatever I'm so done right now" I got up and left the room, deciding to hide in the shower again in case anybody came in to give a monologue about their daddy issues again (like Nick).

Surprisingly it wasn't Nick here to give a depressing monologue but Alvin. (I guess he must have realized Rebecca was shady and he was a major cuck (that's what it's called) which I think is hilarious).

"I miss him," he said. "I know we never really met but I do."

I was so freaking confused because I expected him to talk about how Rebecca was probably having an affair with Pete or something.

"Lee... Brother, can I find you one day?"

What. The. Freaking. Hell. Was this guy seriously related to Lee? I guess that must have been why I thought he looked like a fat, glasses-wearing version of Lee, because he did. He really did. I freaked out and just shouted something crazy since i also thought that Lee's long lost relative deserved to know his wife was a hoe.

"YOUR WIFE IS CHEATING ON YOU, ALVIN EVERETT!" I yelled and jumped out from behind the shower curtain.

"CHRIST, I THOUGHT YOU WAS A SERIAL KILLER!" he said, scared as hell. I guess I did look like a serial killer since I was hiding behind the shower curtains. I had pity on Lee's brother for everything and I felt sort of bad for telling Sarah the baby would look like an obese Lee if it really was Alvin Everett's. But it's probably not anyways, so whatever.

"Well, it's the truth, Alvin Everett," I said. "Rebecca was here monologing and I was in the shower again too, and she said it all, I got it on tape even" (I had kept the old video camera that lady Jolene from two years ago had filmed me with while I was playing with Duck, like a complete creeper. What a perv)

I showed him the tape and he gasped.

I knew that some major drama was going to unfold now, which I was very happy about since I guess it could be pretty funny at times.