Just Friends? No, It Must Be More

Chapter 2

Ryan’s POV

As I’m laying in bed with Jasmine next me, I think of how little sex with her meant to me. I know she likes me but I don’t like her that way. She just throws herself at me and all I do is use her. She’s nothing to me and I feel bad, but what else am I going to do? I don’t have any other girl I want to be with. I go to the kitchen in just my boxers to get some water. I start to think about how I’ve been with girl after girl and still felt nothing. What’s it going to take for me to care? I haven’t even found one girl I care about. Then I hear the door unlock slowly and quietly, it’s Alison trying to be sneaky. It’s 3am in the morning, what the hell Alison? What are you doing out so late?

“Wow… you are so not 007.” At first she jumps and once she sees its me she smiles.

“Haha, shut up. I tried.”

She relaxes and takes off her shoes and walks over to me. You’d think that at 3am she’d look tired and that her makeup would run off her face but she still looked great. She grabbed the glass of water out of my hands and drank it. All I did was smile, we always felt comfortable around each other. Well at least until she introduced her boyfriend.

“So… looks like you had fun tonight. You’re just in your boxers.” she says pointing at my boxers.

“Fun? Nah… it was okay.”

“Just okay?” she raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, like every other time.”

“Why is it that when you sleep with a girl, it’s just “okay”?”

“I don’t know. It just is.”

“Haha mhmm.”

“What mhmm?”

“Just mhmm.” She playful shook her head as she said that to me. She was so cute.

“What about you, huh? Look at the back of your head. Looks like sex hair.”

“What? What are you talking about?” She pats the back of her head and looks embarrassed.

“Hey, it’s okay. Everyone has sex.”

“Not me. We’re not even that serious.”

“What?”

“We haven’t done it" she whispers.

“Wow… really?”

“Mhmm”.

Then it was silent for a while.

“Why haven’t you guys done it?” I spit out

“I just, I just think that it should be with someone I love.”

She didn’t love him? I feel so relieved. I actually have a chance. Wait what? What am I thinking? I can’t be thinking about wanting to be with her. It’s Alison, stupid. She’s your friend.

Alison's POV

He was quiet for a moment. As long as Ryan and I have been friends, we’ve never talked about sex. He looked at me intently, his eyes were piercing through me. I had to look away. Then he just coughed to break the ice and said, “So I think I should go back to bed.”

“Yeah, I should go to bed too.”

As I walk up the stairs I feel so confused. Ryan and I have been having these awkward moments lately and it was bothering me. We’ve always been so comfortable when it comes to everything but all of a sudden when we talk about relationships and sex things get weird. I must’ve spent 2 hours in the shower just thinking about Ryan and how awkward everything was. I think back to when things first got awkward and it was when I first brought Christopher over. He’s being acting weird since then and it has caused me to act weirdtoo. And when I went to bed I still couldn’t stop thinking about it. It kept me up the whole night. I didn’t get sleep that night. It was 8am already and I haven’t even slept one minute. I decide to get up thinking that no one is up yet. I go downstairs and find Ryan watching tv. He sees me walking down the stairs. Oh no, awkward again. I can’t just go back to my room he already saw me. I walk over to the kitchen to make some coffee. I can feel his eyes burning the head of my head.

“Stop looking at me.” I say somewhat bitterly.

“What? How’d you know I was looking at you.”

“We’ve been friends for a long time Ryan. I know.”

“Oh…” he says shyly

“So why were you burning a whole in my head with your eyes.”

“I wasn’t-“

“Yes you were.” I cut him off

“Okay… I just, I mean. The air around us was just weird. I didn’t know what to say.”

I didn't expect him to say that. I thought he would try to deny it again.

“I know! It’s weird now and I have no idea why. I don’t like it.”

“I don’t like it either. What should we do?" Aww, he looks like a sad puppy.

“Let’s just move past it. I miss us just talking about random stuff and laughing. We were always comfortable with each other, let’s just forget whatever’s been bothering us. I mean, come on... it's us."

“Yeah, I miss it too. It is us… we’re Ryan and Alison. Let’s just get back to it.”

“Thank goodness. I couldn’t sleep thinking about how weird it was.”

“Me too. So I just went here to try to forget.”

“You always watch tv when you can’t sleep.”

“And you always get something from the kitchen to get something to take your mind off whatever is keeping you up.”

“Haha I know. Here I’ll make you some coffee.”

“Thanks.”

Ryan's POV

She walked over to the living room and set the mugs down on the coffee table. I tapped the seat next to me and opened my arm. She smiled and snuggled up to me. She put her head on my shoulder and said, "I'm so glad you're my best friend, Ryan." She looked up at me and smiled. I couldn't speak. Lately her smiles have seem to jumble up my thoughts and make me weak in the knees. I managed to give her a smile back and she continued to watch the television. How am I suppose to just be her friend when every little thing she does makes my heart skip a beat?