Just Friends? No, It Must Be More

Chapter 12

Alison's POV

"Ohmygod! That's the one! You have to get it!" Anna squealed as she looked over my dress. I don't even know why I was buying a new dress since it's her birthday party to begin with. But Anna always insists on me joining in on her let's-try -on-everything-in-the-store game. I've only known her for almost 3 years and I've learned more about fashion in those 3 years than I have my entire life. I wasn't by any means a fashion disaster but I wasn't exactly on my way to walk the runway. Never the less, my impeccable fashion sense is all thanks to her. I walked over to the full length mirror to get a glimpse at this dress that I have to get. I looked at myself. It was a short blue and black mini dress that came up above mid thigh. It did wonders for my small and short frame. It made my legs look longer and slimmer. It was definitely a good find.

Kayleigh walked out of the fitting room wearing a emerald green minidress. She looked gorgeous.She was taller than me, her legs went on for miles,she looked like a model. "Holy shit Alison, where have you been hiding that sexy little body"

"Seriously, Alison. Damn, we're going to turn some heads Friday night. Not that care, I have a boyfriend. But you two are definitely getting some" Anna said as she walked over to the mirror in her pink mini dress. Anna was a little bit taller than I was, andI envied those gorgeous curves shehad. She knew exactly what to wear to showcase her assets and that mini dress did wonders for her alreadysexy body.Yes, we were all wearing mini dresses, but each had there own flare to it.

As I tried to unzip my dress, I heard my phone beep. It was text. As I've done millions of times over the course of our friendship I asked Anna to check it for me, but this time I should've just let it gone unchecked. Anna reached in my Marc Jacobs purse and took out my iPhone and punched in my password. "Oh. My. God." she said slowly but clearly.

I looked up at her confused, "What?"

"Text from Ryan."Oh no,I groaned inwardly. "Hurry home, pretty girl. I miss you xxx" She read in a deep voice to sound like Ryan. I froze. I didn't know what to say or do. I felt my cheeks grow warm. Not because I was embarrassed or because I felt like a criminal that just got caught but because it just made what Ryan and I have even more real to me. If that even makes sense. Since we started our little friends with benefits thing, it always felt like I was living a fantasy or dream because no one knew except for me and him.

"Holy crap! You and Ryan are doing the nasty!" she teased. Always leave it up to Anna to make an already awkward situation even more awkward. The nasty... who calls it that? If I wasn't blushing before, I'm definitely am now.

I rolled my eyes trying to play it cool, "We are not."

"So then what?" she raised her eyebrows, "What are you two doing?"

"Nothing" I said innocently

She shot me a knowing look, "Look, I know you never really like talking about relationships and stuff, but be real with me. Are you two having hot, steamy sex under our roof, young lady?"

Kayleigh laughed, "So does this mean he's off the market now?"

"He's always been off the market because his heart belongs to Alison" she sang "Alison and Ryan sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage."

Kayleigh was seriously amused. She was basically rolling on the floor laughing gasping for air. I know this seems like torture, but it wasn't. Anna knows that I can take a joke. I don't mind. I actually found myself giggling a little when she sang that song.

"Okay I'm done with the teasing." Anna managed to say with a serious but interested tone, "But what's really going on?"

"Well, we're kind of doing the whole friends with benefits thing." I said quietly.

Suddenly Kayleigh wasn't laughing anymore, "Whoa."

"What?" I said defensively

"Nothing, it's just. You're not really the type of girl that does friends with benefits. I mean you're sweet, adorable Alison."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I say irritated.

Anna holds up her hand to speak, "What Kay is trying to say is that you're the type of girl that guys want to be with forever. You know, the girl that they need. The girl that, once they realize that they need to settle down, they can be in an actual relationship with. Friends with benefits is a game, and you're not the type of girl that deserves to get played around with."

"But what if I just want to have fun? I don't want to have to worry about it meaning anything."

"Oh honey, it always ends up meaning something to someone whether you want it to or not. It's a dangerous game and someone always gets hurt." She looks at me seriously and added, "I'm not trying to make you feel sad or discouraged but I'm just telling you the truth. I don't want either of you to get hurt. Just think about it, okay?"

I nod and we stop talking till we're out of the store. We say our goodbyes to Kay and then drive home.

On the drive home my thoughts are running a million miles per second. Someone always gets hurt. Someone always gets hurt. Someone always gets hurt. I don't know what scared me most, me getting hurt or him but I knew that if either one of us did get hurt our friendship was over. The thought of us not speaking or seeing each other frightened everything in me. Not being able to hear his laugh, not being able to see his perfect smile, not being able to feel his arms around me would be a living nightmare. What am I getting myself into? How could I ask him to do this, whatever we were doing, with me?

Once we walked through the front door we saw Ryan sitting in the living roomsurfing the web onhis laptop. He looked up at us with a dashing smile, "You're home."

"Yup" Anna smiled uncomfortably and started walking up the stairs, "I'll leave you two to talk."

He eyed me curiously.

"She knows." I didn't have to explain, he knew what I was talking about. His smile grew wider as he walked towards me and scooped me up in his arms.

He leaned in to give me a kiss but once he saw the expression on my face he frowned and set me down, "What's wrong? Are you mad that she knows? Because I kind of told Kenny already. I'm sorry."

I shook my head and sat on the couch, he sat beside me and whispered, "Then what's wrong?" He swept a piece of my hair behind my hair to look at me better.

I looked up from my hand into his eyes, "Are we doing the right thing? Us. I mean." He stiffened beside me and swallowed hard. "We're having fun right?"

"Of course. I'm having fun, aren't you? I know what I want for us, you know what I want. I just don't think you know what you want." I turned my head down once again. He was right, I don't know what I want. I really want to want him but how can I when there's a possibility that things could end badly. That our friendship could end. "Hey, look at me" he gently lifted my chin so that I could see him, "Don't feel obligated to be with me. There's no pressure. I don't want you to be with me because you think that it'll hurt my feelings if you don't. Sure, it'll hurt if you don't feel the same way and want to stop, but I'd rather be hurt than make you do something that you don't want to do. I want you to want to be with me. And I'll give you as much time as you need to figure it out, okay?"

"Okay." I breathed and he wrapped his strong arms around me as I rest my chin on his shoulder.

"You don't need to worry." he whispered into my hair. How could I not worry? Going into this, I thought it would just be all about fun. Sneaking around, tight embraces, lots of stolen kisses here and there. I didn't think everything would get so intense so fast. We weren't even dating and everything felt like so much.

Someone always gets hurt. Someone always gets hurt. Someone always gets hurt.