Love and Discernment (Germangie, Pangie FanFiction)

Chapter 11

The hours went by,

Days went by.

German had gone on a trip with Violetta recently.

They went to a family reunion.

German had another side of family,

Well besides Maria's.

Really, me and my mom were the only ones alive from our side.

My mom and I don't have a close relationship like we used to.

People think that we do, but we simply don't

The "girl" talk doesn't happen.

We never talk about my relationships.

Simply because I don't want to.

She just doesn't give me some space at times.

Freedom or...

Anything.

But whenever we talk, it's usually her giving a lecture...

I'm not the perfect person.

I make mistakes and I know it.

I have made many in my lifetime

Sometimes I even feel like I do everything wrong.

Am I just not successful?

Sometimes the environment i'm in makes me feel like an outsider.

Totally.

Completely.

Huge.

Just.

An.

Outsider.

Sure sometimes I can exaggerate about things (like my mom).

Sometimes I want to feel like i'm loved.

Cared for.

Someone I can trust.

Someone that will always be there.

That's maybe a reason why I wanted to find that perfect guy for me too much.

Am I that desperate?

No I'm not that desperate.

If I was desperate, I'd just be with any guy like Pablo, who loved me.

But i didn't feel the same way.

Days went by, I needed a change.

Things started to get better I guess.

I realized how German was just screwed.

He didn't care for me.

So, I simply kept my distance from him.

He didn't seem to realize it anyway.

I did still had to see him, because of Violetta..nothing else.

I couldn't waste my life haunting on the past thinking that things would change.

Because they never would.

I hope in a better future.

I also couldn't agree to something I didn't feel was the best thing.

I just needed to enjoy life.

Wait for the right moment.

And everything will be okay.

And that's it........