new perspective

classrooms & singing

empty classrooms sound like they are comforting,
maybe even are
with wooden desks scattered all around you as you take a seat in the very back

the right corner at the end of the room where you can see everyone but no one can see you

you sit closer towards the wall, where a black grilled window accompanies you
and you rest you bag in your lap,
your eyes skimming out of the open window and across the busy streets full of cars and two-wheelers

occasionally you see someone on a bike
at the very edge of the road as they move slower than the rest of the traffic
earbuds pushed into their ears
and hopefully their favourite song keeping them company

it is november,
the weather not as unforgiving as everyone thinks it is
and you pull your cardigan tighter around you when a cold waft of air enters the room

there are some days when you despise birds,
their nonsensical chirping does nothing to calm your mind at 6:00 am
but today you're missing their company

hoping for atleast one to come up
and perch themselves onto the window ledge
and chirp quietly so you have something else to listen to
other than the constant traffic

you hum silently, a song that you don't particularly know the lyrics to
but the tune is still stuck in your head

when a few minutes pass, and you start getting comfortable with the soft sounds escaping your lips,
broken lyrics follow with words that are jumbled and incomprehensible

a melody that may only make sense to you

in that moment you feel carefree, as if you could do anything in these four walls and no one will ever know
and just to experiment, you raise your voice, singing louder,
each gap between your words is filled with humming

you buzz with energy in that moment, your heart expands slightly when your lungs are busy to help you sing,
and you feel confident,
as if the day could only get better

your energy is quick to seep out once a pair of footsteps walk through the door,
and your tongue ties itself into several knots just to diminish the sound coming from your lips

your classmate may or may not greet you, but that isn't your concern

you can feel roses of embarrassment bloom on your skin, a warm flush traveling through your body and you anxiously wait if they comment about your carefree singing

when they don't, you feel the embarrassment leave your stomach, and a soft sigh of relief escapes your mouth

and when they do comment
you just let the roses blossom further
a forced laugh leaving your lips to accompany the other person

and maybe that day you promise yourself not to get lost so much in the silence

but you and i both know that when you see an empty classroom again,
maybe your cheeks will be prepared to hold a whole garden

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let me know if this is any help to you or if you like reading it :)