new perspective

long drives & oceans

the idea of being near the ocean is seemingly pleasant
it's calming,
the way the shore changes shape every time a wave crashes into it

it is a strange metaphor for life
something that you haven't figured out yet but even if you were too,
you were sure it wouldn't make any sense

the beach is far away from where you live
an impatient car ride with your family lasting four hours

the mere thought of spending that much time with your family might seem off putting
slightly too much
but you decide that maybe watching the sunset at the beach, with your toes sinking in the sand might be worth it

you're excited
in your brain, you have some pictures preplanned
setting an unrealistic expectation of what you would look like in the bright sunlight and all your freckles on show

you feel insecure too
about your body
about being mildly unattractive
about the way you move around in a swimsuit that you haven't tried in ages

your worries seem to dissipate slightly once you take a seat in the car
your mind deciding to let go of the thoughts for a while

when you plug in your earbuds to block out your sibling's annoying humour
and hit the shuffle on your playlist

an inevitable smile seems to spread across your mouth
lips stretching into a small smile deflecting nostalgia of a song that had the opportunity to be your favourite a long time back

your worries seem to run past you each time a familiar tune plays in your ear

when it's three hours into the drive
your sibling shakes your shoulder with too much energy, and your eyes pop open by the suddenness of the action

you scowl at them, rubbing your eyes and realise you had fallen asleep,
one of your earbuds hanging out of your ear and the playlist repeating itself

you turn off the music and pull out the other string as well
your annoyance dissolving once your mother hands out a packet of crisps to you
and you take it gratefully,
trying not to focus on the rustling of the crisps every time you put your hand inside the bag

it's half an hour later when the salt begins to dissolve on your tongue
each breath you take is like you're breathing in the ocean

the sun is shining brightly, lighting the gravelly roads with a warm glow
and your family seems to get louder, chirpier as you get closer to the beach

the houses that are littered around you are vibrant
giving something pleasing for you to look at other than the blurry greenery
and each splash of colour seems to settle inside your mind
as if you're trying to memorise the patterns of flat roofs and bright walls

in that moment you whole heartedly wish
that you lived near the ocean
to maybe take a walk on the beach whenever the world seem to come crashing down

it is an unrealistic image in your mind
as if the people who live here do nothing but sit by the ocean and enjoy grilled crabs

it's a lifestyle you could only hope for
and soon enough you realise how silly you're being

when the car comes to a halt
you sigh out of relief like the rest of your family
slipping your feet back into your flip flops that you discarded because of the long car ride
and you push open the door of the car, stepping outside on the sandy path

from here you can see a few people laying under pitching umbrellas and a few laying on their front to allow the sun to kiss their back

when your mother gives you an excited smile and hands you a beach ball and a hat
you give her a bright smile as well,
resting the large hat on top of your head
the inflated ball resting on your hip

and when you reach terribly close to the sand you discard your flip flops again
keeping them inside the bag your mother was carrying

and the second your toes curl into the warm sand your mind attempts to ditch the insecurities previously prevailing into your mind

and maybe when you see even a single pair of eyes looking at you, the insecurities are going to return again

but for now you're happy
and your feet are sinking into the sand
and your parents are smiling at you brightly

and maybe that's all that matters

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hey !! i hope y'all are having a good day, tell me about it in the comments !!