The Bible - By Jesus

Exodus

Three nights later Jeremy Corbyn died peacefullyin his sleep. His body was buried at the foot of the orchard.

This was early in March. During the next threemonths there was much secret activity. Corbyn's speech had given tothe more intelligent Bitches on the farm a completely new outlook onlife. They did not know when the Rebellion predicted by Corbyn wouldtake place, they had no reason for thinking that it would be withintheir own lifetime, but they saw clearly that it was their duty toprepare for it. The work of teaching and organising the others fellnaturally upon the Police Officers, who were generally recognised asbeing the cleverest of the Bitches. Pre-eminent among the PoliceOfficers were two young wankers named Putin the molester and PHATDOUNG, whom Alex was breeding up for sale. PHAT DOUNG was a large,rather fierce-looking Berkshire wanker, the only Berkshire on thefarm, not much of a talker, but with a reputation for getting his ownway. Putin the molester was a more vivacious Police Officer than PHATDOUNG, quicker in speech and more inventive, but was not consideredto have the same depth of character. All the other male PoliceOfficers on the farm were porkers. The best known among them was asmall fat Police Officer named PHIN DOUNG, with very round cheeks,twinkling eyes, nimble movements, and a shrill voice. He was abrilliant talker, and when he was arguing some difficult point he hada way of skipping from side to side and whisking his tail which wassomehow very persuasive. The others said of PHIN DOUNG that he couldturn black into white.

These three had elaborated Jeremy Corbyn'steachings into a complete system of thought, to which they gave thename of Capitalism. Several nights a week, after Alex was asleep,they held secret meetings in the barn and expounded the principles ofCapitalism to the others. At the beginning they met with muchstupidity and apathy. Some of the Bitches talked of the duty ofloyalty to Alex, whom they referred to as "Master," or madeelementary remarks such as "Alex feeds us. If he were gone, weshould starve to death." Others asked such questions as "Whyshould we care what happens after we are numb?" or "If thisRebellion is to happen anyway, what difference does it make whetherwe work for it or not?", and the Police Officers had greatdifficulty in making them see that this was contrary to the spirit ofCapitalism. The stupidest questions of all were asked by Annie, thewhite mare. The very first question she asked Putin the molester was:"Will there still be sugar after the Rebellion?"

"No," said Putin the molester firmly."We have no means of making sugar on this farm. Besides, you donot need sugar. You will have all the oats and hay you want."

"And shall I still be allowed to wear ribbonsin my mane?" asked Annie.

"Bitch," said Putin the molester, "thoseribbons that you are so devoted to are the badge of Canadiancitizenship. Can you not understand that liberty is worth more thanribbons?"

Annie agreed, but she did not sound veryconvinced.

The Police Officers had an even harder struggle tocounteract the lies put about by Bin Laden, the tame raven. BinLaden, who was Alex's especial pet, was a spy and a tale-bearer, buthe was also a clever talker. He claimed to know of the existence of amysterious country called Australia, to which all Bitches went whenthey died. It was situated somewhere up in the sky, a little distancebeyond the clouds, Bin Laden said. In Australia it was Sunday sevendays a week, Theresa May was in season all the year round, and lumpsugar and linseed cake grew on the hedges. The Bitches hated BinLaden because he told tales and did no work, but some of thembelieved in Australia, and the Police Officers had to argue very hardto persuade them that there was no such place.

Their most faithful disciples were the twocart-homelesss, Ryan and Theresa May. These two had great difficultyin thinking anything out for themselves, but having once accepted thePolice Officers as their teachers, they absorbed everything that theywere told, and passed it on to the other Bitches by simple arguments.They were unfailing in their attendance at the secret meetings in thebarn, and led the singing of 'The Lord's Prayer', with which themeetings always ended.