A Place To Call My Home

Chapter 21

Don't let them bring you down

And don't let them fuck you around 'cause

Those are your arms, that is your heart

They can't tear you apart, they can't take it away

Another few days and Piper was finally home, Alex vowed that it was the last hospital trip they would have for a long time. When Alex first brought Piper home, time moved more slowly as they both tried to re-adjust to life. But this time Alex really believed they had a shot at a normal life, she couldn't see any more obvious barriers in the way. She knew her job would always have the potential to cause issues, but not right now, not after how much money she'd made for Kubra in Indonesia. She was happy to keep organising drops in the US, and she'd deal with any other problems as they happened. Deep down, Alex knew she would probably never be able to totally extract herself from the cartel, not unless they all got arrested or Kubra was killed, and she didn't want to think about that. She could live with it for now, and at least she knew that Fahri would always have her back. They hadn't spoken much since Alex got back from Bali, just the usual meetings to organise drops or talk about other business. She knew he was trying to give her space, to give her the opportunity to feel like she had a normal life, and Alex appreciated it.

For those first few slow weeks back at home, Alex spent all her time with Piper, she was almost afraid to leave her alone. It would take a while for that fear to subside for Alex, maybe it would never go away. The biggest thing for Alex in those first few weeks was convincing Piper to join the hospital's therapy program.

"I'm scared Al..."

They were having dinner in the kitchen, and Piper was finally starting to open up about the whole therapy issue.

"It's like, I'd be exposing myself, all the bad things, to people I don't even know."

Alex reached across the table and gently held onto Piper's hand, "They're not bad things Pipes, don't think of it like that. I know it hurt you more than I'll ever understand, losing the baby.....You'd be talking to people that have been through the same thing. And the heroin....."

Piper looked back at Alex with nothing but honesty in her eyes, "What about the heroin? What about you and the heroin? Neither of us have used since I got out of the hospital, but.....I still want to sometimes....."

Alex responded in the quietest voice, "Me too...."

Alex had wanted to use heroin so many times, but she always stopped herself. She started making sure she never kept any in the apartment, it would be too tempting. Even though she knew she could get it any time she wanted, she wanted Piper more.

Piper spoke again, noticing her girlfriend's mind drifting off into space, "Come with me."

"What?"

"To the narcotics meetings, come with me." All Piper could hear in her head was Diane's voice telling her it was about both of them now. Alex might not have used as heavily as Piper in the last few months, but she still needed help.

Piper became worried when Alex stayed silent for so long, she wasn't sure what to say. She was relieved when Alex seemed to finally snap back to reality.

"I just never really thought I'd be in this situation....I never saw myself as a drug addict, fuck..."

Piper got up out of her chair and walked around to Alex's side of the table, hugging her and feeling Alex hug her back as she leaned her head against Piper's stomach.

"We have to try Al...."

Piper felt Alex press her face further into her stomach, as though she was trying to lose herself in Piper's body, but she eventually spoke.