Graystripe: So Nightpelt won the vote it seems in SC.
Nightpelt: We shall build a great, great wall to keep the TC cats out!
Graystripe: And then he wonders why his supporters have been harassing the daylights out of everybody that isn't pure SC.
Fireheart: He seems to be decent. Though I don't know how they'll build a wall along the highway. It might get taken down by the twolegs.
Graystripe: You said once that it's not even a highway anymore thanks to the interstate.
Fireheart: No, I said it's not USED much. Not that it isn't a highway anymore. It's still a highway.
Graystripe: Bah, whatever. They seem to be growing strong again though after the famine Brokenstar put them though.
Tigerclaw: SHUT UP ABOUT THE INTERSTATE!!!! THE GATHERING'S STARTED!!!!
*The leaders stop talking and stare at Tigerclaw*
Tigerclaw: Um... Nevermind. I'm... going back to the deputies now.
*Gathering continues*
Bluestar: Yellowfang is our new medicine cat. Sorry for stealing her, Nightpelt.
Nightpelt: Bah, I was probably going to deport her anyway. Anyway, I'm leader-
*SC protestors show up*
Nightpelt: HEY!!! I WON FAIR AND SQUARE!!! DON'T THREATEN ME FOR WINNING!!!
*protests move to some other location*
Nightpelt: Anyway, no I haven't gone to get my nine lives yet. Why? Because I'm lazy.
Bluestar: How were you elected again?
Nightpelt: I don't know. I ran as a joke, I was TRYING to lose, but apparently I discovered SC is full of idiots in the process! Sorry guys.
Some SC cat: It's fine.
Nightpelt: Brokenstar left the forest with the others, so we won't see them again. Also, can we keep using your hunting grounds Crookedstar?
Crookedstar: Nah. You aren't going to burn down the forest if I refuse, so...
Nightpelt: Fuck.
Crookedstar: Hey, let's share the WC grounds.
Bluestar: No, no, no, we're bringing them back.
Crookedstar: Why?
Bluestar: Because there's four trees here, thus we need four clans.
Crookedstar: *blinks* What kind of broken logic is that?
Nightpelt: Bluestar, you're fucking stupid. But I guess we probably should anyway. But really, that logic is more broken then Crookedstar's jaw.
Crookedstar: Hey!
Nightpelt: Sorry, but you should be used to that by now. You've never had a mate-
*Willowbreeze appears, slaps Nightpelt, then dissapears*
Nightpelt: HEY!!!
Crookedstar: Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of my mate's bitch-slap.
Nightpelt: WHY YOU!!!! *calms down* Anyway, you've never had kits-
Crookedstar: Hey, Silverstream!
Silverstream: Yes, dad?
*everyone laughs and Nightpelt facepaws*
Crookedstar: Did you hear what Nighpelt said?
Silverstream: He's a fucking dumbass.
Nightpelt: HEY!!!
Crookedstar: Don't blame me, I didn't say that!
Nightpelt: You sneaky son of a bitch.
Crookedstar: But seriously, let's get an alliance going.
Graystripe: Oh great. We're fucked. Well, there goes TC. So Fireheart... your twolegs open to having more cats?
YOU ARE READING
Warriors Abridged
HumorWhat if an abridged series was made for Warriors? This hasn't happened yet, as no show of the series exists, but this get pretty darn close to that goal.
