*Fireheart and Graystripe are on their jorney*
Graystripe: So where are we going?
Fireheart: Where else? WC camp. Though we'd be lucky to find it.
Graystripe: RC patrol! Get down!
Some RC cat: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?!?
*Graystripe and Fireheart hide*
Some RC cat: Oh. Shit, they hid. That means we never saw them.
RC cat 2: Wait, what? That logic is worse than Bluestar's logic at the gathering.
Some RC cat: No it's not. It's my logic, thus it isn't broken. I could say 2+2 equaling 4 would start a world war among the twolegs and kill everybody, and it's perfectly normal logic. Why? Because it's my logic. Also, you must believe in the illuminati. Now let's go.
RC cat 3: Ok. Seriously, who put the idiot, stuck up, tin-hat wearing conspiracy theorist in charge?
Some RC cat: What?
RC cat 3: Nothing.
Graystripe: Somehow we're at their camp suddenly.
Fireheart: Is their camp really just a hole in the ground?
Graystripe: Yep.
Fireheart: Well that's stupid. No wonder they lose all the time. Because they're so stupid. I, for one, would NEVER place my camp in a hole in the ground.
Graystripe: Never?
Fireheart: Never. I'd die before I did that.
Graystripe: I found their scent trail! We should stalk them. Who knows? We might find something fun to watch, like cats mating.
Fireheart: Graystripe, no.
Graystripe: Aww, but it would be fun to-
Fireheart: No.
Graystripe: Fine.
*they keep walking*
Graystripe: Isn't that Barley's farm?
Fireheart: Yep. I hope Ravenpaw made it there safely.
Graystripe: What harm would come from walking through a field? But if you want to check, we can.
Fireheart: Nah. I'd rather not risk running into Redneck Ravenpaw again.
*flashback*
Firepaw: RAVENPAW, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!!
*Ravenpaw is facing a cliff*
Ravenpaw: I'ma goin' to Hogwarts! YEE HAW!!!!!
*Ravenpaw runs full-speed into the wall and knocks himself out*
Graypaw: STC DAMN IT RAVENPAW, YOU'RE A FUCKING STUPID-ASS BITCH!!!!
Firepaw: Come on. Let's take him to Spottedleaf before he dies from blood loss.
*cut to present*
Graystripe: Good point, let's not do that.
*Fireheart and Graystripe are now at a thunderpath*
Graystripe: Damn, there goes their scent. I was REALLY hoping I could watch some cat sex.
Fireheart: I guess the monsters ruined the scent. Let's try crossing the road.
Graystripe: Yeah and jump on those logs in the river I'M SICK OF YOUR FUCKING FROGGER REFERENCES FIREHEART!!!!!
Fireheart: No, no! I'm actually being serious!
Graystripe: Oh. I totally knew that. Yep. Completely knew that from the beginning.
YOU ARE READING
Warriors Abridged
HumorWhat if an abridged series was made for Warriors? This hasn't happened yet, as no show of the series exists, but this get pretty darn close to that goal.
