Why He Tian does what he does (a 19 Days Fanfic)

Salvation

Five minutes to Eight next morning found He Tian striding into the school compound, and towards the gym. The school was empty and quiet, save for the few gardeners who were pottering about in the flower beds. 

As the gym came into view, he saw the familiar blond head in the distance. 

He is already here. He must want to talk to me real bad.

He Tian slowed down, and wondered, for the hundredth time since last night, what it was the blonde wanted to talk to him about. He supposed he was going to get scolded for bringing them to the bar yesterday, and may be an explanation on why Zheng Xi was so bothered. 

Well, will know soon enough.

He Tian stepped out of the shadows, and waved at the blonde leaning against the gym wall: "Hi"

"He Tian", Jian Yi greeted him in an uncharacteristically quiet voice. "We need to talk."

"Yeah, so I gathered", He Tian replied. 

He is... quiet. I expected him to be more...

"Angry, you are angry with me, aren't you?" He Tian found himself blurting out.

"Not angry, no..." Jian Yi, sighed. He looked pained, "More like... disappointed."

"Look... I don't know what happened to Zheng Xi, but, I am sorry about it, ok? I suppose, he was being hit on?" He Tian paused searching for an answer that the blonde refused to give at that moment.

An uncomfortable silence... He had to break it... 

"Listen, that's pretty unusual. It doesn't ever happen, really." He Tian plodded on, "See, guests there are not allowed to hit on other guests, that's just how that place works: you pick up only the pros..."

Yet no reaction from Jian Yi. Same sad eyes, looking down at the ground.

He Tian was getting desperate, he had expected to be shouted at, heck, he was even prepared to take a good beating. But, this silence... He had never experienced it before, and it was weighing down upon him like a ton of bricks...

A joke, a joke could lighten the mood... He Tian remembered what he was told the first time he went to that bar: a senior member of the Trust had taken him there, as a part of his induction:

"It's because... you know, they have to make their sales... Like, how they say in restaurants: no outside food allowed..." He Tian fake smiled.

"No outside food allowed?" Jian Yi repeated, looking at He Tian dead in the eyes, his expression suddenly blank.

"Umm, yeah?" He Tian bit the insides of his cheek, realising too late how crass he sounded, "Listen, I didn't mean it that..."

He was cut short, as Jian Yi's hand made contact with his face with a resounding slap.

It would be a lie to say it hurt. It didn't. Merely a superficial sting: a slight burning sensation. 

What hurt though was the way Jian Yi was looking at him: the blonde before him was red in the face, trembling in anger. His eyes were burning, wisps of golden hair failing to conceal the deep scowl etched into his forehead.

"I didn't mean it that way", He Tian managed to mumble, "Listen... I already said sorry..."

"Yeah... yeah..." Jian Yi muttered in response, calming down a bit.

This is what I wanted... He Tian told himself. I wanted him to see how dirty it all is, to wipe that grin of his face... show him who he really his, what his absentee father  really does...

Why do I not feel happy then?

The blonde passed his hand through his hair, clearly still upset, and at a loss for words. He Tian mutely followed the movement with his eyes: golden hair glistened in between his pale fingers, and fell back down in a waterfall of silky strands. 

He looks like an angel from one of those European Renaissance paintings.

Jian Yi finally spoke again. His voice was halting and held curious sad note to it: 

"No, Jheng Xi was not being hit on. He was upset because, he is genuinely kind, and that's how a person of our age, with any amount of empathy, would react to that situation... I know we have not had a normal upbringing. You probably had it even worse than me."

Jian Yi paused, and suddenly his voice became stronger:

"But, He Tian... we can't let that determine our life for us... We have to try... we have to try and see the beauty around us, find happiness... We didn't get to choose our family, but we do get to choose our friends. We do get to choose what we participate in..."

"You keep using the word We?"  He Tian snarled out in response. The pronoun infuriated him. 

Jian Yi had not idea what life has been like for me. He has no fucking clue. He has been protected all his fucking life. He has been shielded. I have been one of those shielding him.

Jian Yi's quiet voice rose him out of his blind fury:

"That's because... we are together in this, aren't we? Shady dealings and black money and fathers that are never home."

He Tian gaped at the boy before him. That was not a response he had expected.

"How do you..."

"How do I know? Did you really think I would not notice? Ever since I can remember, I could see you or your brother out of the corner of my eyes... 24/7 security is a bit hard to miss, no?"

He Tian still gaped at him.

"I might look like it, but, I am not stupid." Jian Yi shrugged, and He Tian detected a slight smirk on his face before the blonde became serious once more and continued speaking:

"Elementary school must not have been easy for you...Always blending into the background, trying your best to be invisible... Do you know how happy I was when you finally made a proper appearance? Those fake glasses gone, hair out of your eyes, and back straightened up? You looked so handsome in the basketball court that day, positively irresistible..." Jian Yi shook his head, and stared at the ground for a couple of seconds, before speaking again:

"That's what you really are, He Tian. The guy who is good in academics, and even better in sports. The guy who all the other boys envy, and all the girls fall for... It's not a role you are playing. I truly believe that's what you are. Because that's what you want to be. The first time you got to choose for yourself, that's what you wanted to be... A sunny, even though slightly arrogant, 14 years old..."

"We are just in middle school. We both have our own demons to defeat. Come on, man, we can do this together." Jian Yi looked up at him.

A warm sensation was spreading through out He Tian's body. Odd feelings were bubbling up in his chest, making it difficult for him to breathe: an overwhelming sense of gratitude and admiration towards Jian Yi, for letting him be just another 14 year old, for telling him that there was hope, that he was not alone, that they could do it, together...

He found the blonde's hands grabbing his own, fingers lightly squeezing, as Jian Yi spoke: 

"I really want us to be friends, He Tian... Is that possible?" 

And, looking into those warm golden eyes, He Tian found himself nodding: "Yes."

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A/N: 

If you read the comments on the last chapter, you would know that He Tian here basically makes the same assumption about Zheng Xi, as someone else did. ZhanYiTian, thanks for that bit of inspiration!