Insane ★ Wade Wilson [1]

S E V E N

IT HAD BEEN A FEW months since extracting the information from agent smith and they had learned quite a lot. One was that Smith screamed like a little girl and also when the best opportunity to strike on Francis was. The man wasn't in the state at the moment, but he would be back in a few months where they could confront him.

In the mean time, Wade had decided to take Marley out for chimichangas because she had never had one before. They came up to a Mexican takeaway and walked up to the counter like they hadn't just killed somebody. Which they had.

"Two extra large chimichangas...Muhammad." Deadpool said to the cashier after glancing at his name tag. The man looked up from his phone and stared at the two anti-heroes in front of him. He noticed their weapons and tried to stay calm in their presence. "Hurry it up before I shove that hot sauce up your shit maker and you spurt out fire."

"H-h-here you g-go sir, m-miss." Muhammad said shakily, handing them their food. 'Harley' jumped up and down in excitement as they walked back to the stolen apartment whilst eating Wade's obsession.

"These are fucking heaven. Why haven't you ever tried these before. I'd give up sex just for these babies!" Wade exclaimed as they walked down the street.

"Theo was actually really insistent on what I ate. Said that the food I liked was unladylike." Marley replied, munching on the chimichanga.

"What a dick-biscuit! I find that girls with an unhealthy appetites are sexy as fuck."

"Does Vanessa eat unhealthy foods?"

"Vanessa? Oh no. She liked to stay in shape from what I remember. Not sure about now though. Maybe she's put on weight from not getting laid for a while. But how would I know, I've been gone for ages. She could be a whole different person." He said softly, looking down at his partner in crime as they ate.

"You love her though right? Everything was good when you were together?" She asked, intrigued.

"Oh yeah, the sex was great!" Wade beamed as he shoved the last of his food in his mouth. It made absolutely no sense because he had his mask on.

Marley sighed, "I'm not talking about sex, Wade. Did you even do anything other than have sex with her? Y'know, go on dates, talk on the phone when she was at work. That sorta stuff."

Deadpool stayed silent and she had realised that she had probably crossed the line. "Oh, I'm so sorry Puddin'! Sometimes I go full psychiatrist mode without realising. I didn't mean to dig into your personal life."

"It's alright, Marls. You're right. I've just now realised that we did nothing but sex. A relationship can still work like that though right?" He asked and stopped walking before they turned around the corner where their apartment was.

"I'm afraid not, hun. You need chemistry. Something that brings you together that isn't on a physical level. You need to love her both mentally and physically. Just having sex isn't enough. And you said it yourself before, if doesn't want to be with you because you look like a deflated octopus then she never loved you at all." She informed, finishing off her chimichanga aswell. "You were so right when you said these were fucking heaven. I've never tasted food this good in my life."

Wade began to walk again as he said, "That's because your ex-husband was a dickhead covered in shit who never let you do anything."

They turned the corner street by their apartment, only to see that a group of police cars were surrounding it. Marley jumped out of the way, pulling Wade with her so that they wouldn't be seen. Wade got an idea and climbed the fire escape of the building they were hiding behind and went to the roof. Marley, not knowing what else to do, followed him. From where they were, they could hear what the cops were saying.

"Dispatch, reports have confirmed that two dangerous individuals have been living in the apartment. Also confirmed that it had been broken into and the owner has been missing for several weeks."

"Uh oh! We gotta scram." Deadpool said, turning to his partner in crime. She pouted and whined: "But what about my hammer, mista Pool?"

"Aww don't get sad on me boo, i'll help you make a new one." He replied, jumping onto another rooftop. Marley soon followed with a content smile on her face.

As soon as possible, the two anti-heroes had moved into an apartment with Blind Al. The old woman from the launderette whom they had kidnapped, but she didn't even take any notice of it because now she had people to look after her. Even if they were fucked up in the head and killed people. Wade and Marley had to share a room, but they didn't care. If anything it made them feel better, more safe. 

The months had flew by and there were a few more days until they could go after Francis. They decided to use the time and stock up on guns and ammo. Marley had even made a new hammer and fixed up her baseball bat. Ever since they escaped the weapon X program, both Wade and Marley formed a closer relationship and asked each other advice about their past lives. In the areas that they couldn't, they went to Blind Al, who always had something snarky to say to them.

For Wade's birthday, which had went by a month ago, Marley had sent him out of the apartment whilst she and Blind Al made him the biggest chimichanga he had ever seen.

'I bet Vanessa never made him one of these.' Was what the voice in her head had giggled as she made it.

And it was right. When Wade had gotten home, seeing the world's biggest chimichanga, he went bat-shit crazy. In a good way. He was so excited that he kissed Marley all over her face as soon as he took off his mask. Her pale complexion allowed him to see her blushed cheeks and he smiled to himself. They ate the giant chimichanga together without Al, who claimed it would give her the shits if she ate it, and watched a terrible reality show to pass by the time.

I'M SORRY THAT IT'S REALLY SHORT. THIS IS JUST AN ADDED CHAPTER TO GIVE MARLEY AND WADE A LITTLE CHEMISTRY. I'M ALSO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO UPLOAD. THE WEBSITE I WATCH DEADPOOL ON IS CURRENTLY NOT WORKING AND I HAVE DEADPOOL ON BLUE-RAY BUT I CAN'T WATCH IT ON THE COMPUTER. IT MIGHT TAKE A WHILE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER TO BE UP, BUT I KNOW YOU CAN HANG IN THERE.