139 Years to the End of the World

The Healer, Part Two

Back in high school, I dated Matilda Vines. She wasn't a cheerleader or anything, but when it came to looks, she was one of the 'it-girls' of our school. Smart, charming, and overall nice. I won't lie here, she was terrific in bed as well. If she had not transferred to Hillbury, I would have in all likelihood, married her instead of Joan. Which made the first time I ran into my ex all the more awkward. It did not help my peace of mind that I was also on a date with Joan at the time. But what I experienced all those years ago was nothing compared to all the feelings that bombarded me in the car with Joan as she drove us to our daughters graduation.

I sat in the passenger's seat while she navigated the underground tunnels of Roagnark. With flame yellow incandescent lights and pipes that redirected through the walls, the underground roadway looked more like an alternate steampunk world than anything I recognized as part of the city.

"I know it looks rickety," Joan explained, "But the construction is one hundred percent safe. The only corners we cut was making it look good."

Turning my head to follow a road marker made of scrap metal and a plastic sign stuck onto it as we passed, I replied, "I have no doubt it's safe. But this really looks like the hobos highway. Couldn't you have spent maybe a year making it look neat?"

Joan laughed, "It's good to see you again Milton."

We sat in mutual silence for awhile, an array of thoughts bombarded my head even as I admired the impressive tunnel system built.

Are you still with G? Are you happy? How's Leila? What are you working on now? Do you still love me?

That last question was not something I would ask. I felt confident enough that despite all these years, I would know Joan enough to guess the answer from her actions and words.

We took an exit that came up, leaving what Joan called the 'downway' and into a narrower stretch of road that apparently functioned as streets.

I spoke first, "How are you?"

"Fine," she replied and I watched as a small smile formed on her face. In the yellow light, I saw more clearly the small bags that had defined her eyes. Fatigue was not something she carried with her. Sleeping early, eating healthy, regular exercise. That was Joan. If she was tired in any way, it was due to worry.

"You haven't slept much."

"You can tell?" She sounded slightly surprised, but happy all the same.

"I can always tell."

She chuckled. After a beat of contemplation, she replied, "I've been worried about seeing you again. Physically, we haven't met in eight years. I didn't know what you were like now. And if you would still be okay with..." she slowed down, gathering her thoughts. "With me and G."

I simply asked, "Are you happy?"

"What?"

"Are you happy?" I repeated. "And I want the truth. No sugar-coating it for my sake."

She nodded to herself, lips pursed as she readied her answer. Then, a small grin that broke my heart and made my day at the same time. "Yes."

"Than I'm fine with it." I smiled at her – No, I beamed at her, I dare say. Though inside, my heart felt torn, despite knowing it was physically impossible. I was, for once, happy that I could no longer shed tears for I would have probably wept and that would make me look way less cool than I was projecting to be.

We pulled up at a tunnel that led to the multi-story underground car parks for Leila's school. Filled with other families, some just parents, others with siblings, few alone, we found a lot marked 'RESERVED' and parked in. However, Joan did not switch off the engine and instead leaned back into her seat, closing her eyes and letting out a sigh. I never found out if it was a sigh of relief or strain.