The Life of Esther Jameson

Chapter Nineteen

Even though it was summer, sometimes it didn't feel like it.

The air was thick with clouds and some of the fog rolled in through the streets, curling around parked cars and streetlamps.

Luke and Jenny wanted to go outside to play, but Miriam wouldn't have it. She had said it was too cold and she didn't want them to catch a virus or something.

So, they resorted to watching TV with me. It was one of those days where no one could do anything but lay around and watch a show. Despite the fact that we were doing absolutely nothing, it was nice being with my siblings for the day. We watched a few kid movies and then I convinced them to watch a few episodes of a superhero show that I had invested myself in. Jenny liked the action and fight scenes but Luke liked some of the romantic stuff and the science of the show. Jenny laughed a lot and Luke would punch her and tell her to be quiet. I wasn't spared from the shushing and the punches, but I was happy. We were all together as a family. The only one we were missing was Dad.

That gave me an idea. But it also opened up a wound that hadn't been healed yet.

"Hey, guys." I said.

"Yeah?" They answered in unison.

"What do you think of going to visit Dad? It's only Wednesday, so I think we could go and see him."

Jenny hopped up and down. "Yes! I want to show Daddy my pictures I drew of swords and hearts!"

Luke added in his piece as well. "Can I bring my Nerf that Kenith gave to me?"

"Uh, yes on the pictures. No on the gun," I said. "I don't want the guards to think that you're one of them, Luke."

Luke looked happy about my answer and fantasized about pistol-whipping a prisoner to get back into his cell when he walked to his room to get his shoes.

"I want to bring Daddy candy," Jenny decided. "The lollipops that I have that are shaped like circles."

"Go get dressed and we'll get there faster," I assured her.

My little brother and sister went to go and get ready and knowing them, they'll be ready in about five minutes. That gave me about three to get myself a jacket, shoes and wallet. In eight minutes, we were in the car and driving to the prison. It had been a whole month since we had last visited all together. We had all seen Dad right before he went out with me to go see the church that Kade...

Jenny and Luke practically ran into the prison doors. I had to tell the front desk why we were here and they let us through. The room full of metal tables and inmates didn't hold as much intimidation for us anymore. It was like we were meeting Dad up at a restaurant, or something.

We had to wait a little bit for Dad to come out. But when he did, Jenny ran at him in her little pink outfit and black headband.

"Daddy!" She cried, still the little kid that I knew her to be even though she was ten going on eleven. Sometimes I had to take a good look at her before remembering that she wasn't under four feet anymore.

Dad hugged Jenny as much as he could and then sat down to talk with Luke and her about what had been happening lately. They didn't know about Kade, but they did know that I had been crying recently. Thankfully they left that little bit of information for me to tell him later. For now they talked about their friends and what kind of stuff they did over the weekend and how Jackson was back and doing cool things with them.

"You should tell him to stop by," Dad said, "I've been meaning to tell him a few things."

"So have I." I laughed softly and glanced up at him. He seemed to understand the look in my eyes and leaned across the table in concern. I was feeling a combination of different ways. I was happy, sad, angry, hurt, and frustrated at the same time, and it was difficult thing to deal with. Stupid feelings.