The Chance To Be Me

Chapter Four

     When I turn around standing there is some guy from my Geometry class. I give him a confused look while he grabs my arm and pulls me into a nearby bathroom. He doesn't say anything the whole time while he's pulling me to the bathroom. We've never talked before, so I have no idea what's going on, I'm completely confused and don't know what he's doing. I think his name is Kyle, he has blonde hair and bright blue eyes, he's very preppy.

      Once we're in the bathroom he checks all the stalls to make sure the bathroom is empty before walking back over to me and locking the bathroom door. At this point I'm no longer feeling confused, I'm feeling terrified. I don't know this guy and he's locking me in a bathroom alone. What the fuck is going on.

     He turns and looks right at me "your Adam, right? The guy that sits in the back of my Geometry class." he asks me, I nod slowly, to scared to say anything. My throat is starting to tighten up from all the fear I'm feeling. He lets out a loud sigh "thank god, I was scared I grabbed the wrong guy!" Right when he said wrong the bell rung, singling that if you show up to class now your considered late and will get a detention, great, just what I need during my first semester at a new school.

      I give him a confused and angry look "why the fuck are you making me late to my class? And what do you need?" I say in my deepest version of my 'guy voice' while glaring at him. He looks surprised when I talk, which sort of surprises me, am I really intimidating?

      He pulls his phone out of his pocket and open something up then shows me. It's a picture of me, before I started transitioning. I have a few cuts and bruises on my face and there's blood coming out of my nose and I have a black eye. My eyes widen when I see this picture. I'm in the hospital, this is from when the people came and interviewed me when my dad beat me. How did he get this picture?

      I look at him, I try my hardest to look calm and say in a calm voice "who's that?" I ask him. My voice does shake slightly but doesn't crack, which is good, maybe I can just play it off as just a look alike person instead of having to explain it to him.

     I raises an eyebrow at me and says "this GIRL looks EXACTLY like you Adam. Why is that?" He says/asks me. I start to feel trapped and start getting hot from fear. I feel like I'm about to start sweating from fear. I try to keep my calm, I can't loose it, I'll be figured out.

     I just shrug and say "how am I supposed to know why, or how she looks like me Kyle?" He raises an eyebrow again.

     "Adam, are you pretending to be a guy? Are you really this girl?" He ask me, his voice getting louder with each word. Probably from anger, god what am I going to do? I can't get figured out! And he's got it wrong, I'm not pretending to be a guy! I am a fucking guy! How dare he say I'm pretending to be guy. I am, I was just born in the wrong body, I'm not supposed to have these breast or a fucking Vagina, I'm supposed to be flat chested and to have a penis.

       "I'm not pretending to be a guy! I am a guy Kyle! My name is Adam. I'm my moms only son." I say sounding angry, not being able to hold back my anger from him saying I was pretending to be a guy. I feel like I'm about to start crying, I try to hold back my tears, I can't let him see me cry.

      "are you sure about that Adam? Will you be able to prove that?" He ask me. This is when I loose it.

      "Kyle your such an ass! I'm as much as a guy as you!" I say as I pull out my phone from my back pocket, but I keep it behind my back and call Alex, praying that he answers it and comes and helps me.

       He just raises his eyebrow and takes a step closer to me. "Adam, you better be able to prove this. Or your going to have problems." I take a step back but stand my ground. I don't shrink into myself, I try to stand a little straighter and look as tough as I can.

      "you better be able to fight me Kyle if you think your going to be checking me." I say balling my hand that isn't holding my phone behind by back into a fist. Getting ready to punch him if I need to. I will NOT let him find out about me being Transgender. This can't be happening. I'm not a girl! I'm not I'm not I'm not!

      "oh what are you going to do? Hit me? Your just a little girl pretending to be a guy. You aren't that strong Adam, if that's even your name." He taunts me while smirking. I have a urg to just punch him in the face and knock that fucking smirk off his face.

       I hear my phone make a noise and Kyle looks at me. I pull my phone out in front of me and look. It's a text from Alex asking where I am. I start to feel stupid, why do I need him to come help me? I'm as much as a guy as him. I can take care of myself, I don't need help. I put my phone back into my pocket and walk over to Kyle and get into his face. "If you don't let me leave this bathroom right now I'll fucking beat you. Do you want to take that risk?"

      It looks like he thinks about it for a few seconds before he moves out of my way and I walk right over to the door and unlock and walk out. Once I'm out of the bathroom I can't help but smile. I actually did it myself, I passed enough to intimidate him and get myself out of a dangerous situation! I can't believe it! I put my hands in my pocket and just walk to my class, not giving a fuck if I get a detention, I'll just talk to the teacher after class and explain what happened. She'll let me go, she knows I'm FTM and thinks it's amazing. She'll probably let me out of the detention and do something about what Kyle did.

                                                                            AFTER CLASS

         When the bell rings everyone quickly grabs their things and walk out of the room to go to their lockers and or to their next class. I take my time picking up the few things I did bring to class with me then to walk up to Ms.Jakie's, my teacher, desk. She looks up at me once I get to it and half smiles at me.

        "hello Adam. Can I help you with something?" She ask me, sounding calm and happy like she always does. She's my favorite teacher, I was put in a class with a lot of loud people so it's hard for her to teach sometimes. The thing is though, she ALWAYS seems so calm and happy no matter what happens. I look up to her a lot, she's an amazing woman, just like my mom. The only difference is that my mom isn't always happy, but she's almost always calm.

       "Ms. Jakie, can I talk to you about why I was so late today?" I ask her, sounding slightly nervous. She nods before closing the book she was about to start reading and points to a chair near her desk.

       "Sit down Adam, lets talk." She says to me, I walk over to the chair and sit down, she says before I can say anything "why were you so late Adam? Your usually the first student here."

        I nodded and sighed "I don't like telling on people but.. I didn't feel safe at all.." I said just loud enough for her to barely hear me.

     I noticed that her eyes widened slightly when I said that. "what do you mean Adam?"

    Adam took a deep breath and said "Kyle from my geometry class sort of almost beat me up in the guys bathroom.."

     She just sighed and rest her hands on the desk before saying "Adam, maybe you shouldn't go into the boys bathroom.."

     I felt my jaw drop slightly, she usually helps me and defends me, weather it has to do with me being transgender or not. I can't believe she would say this to me. "I didn't go into the boys bathroom myself! He dragged me into it and had a picture of me all beat up! He found out! And was going to hurt me!"

    Right after I said that I pushed the chair back and left the room fast without saying another word and without letting her talk. I don't want to here what else she has to say to me. I don't even go to my next period, I just walk out of the school and walk home. Mom wont even be home when I get there, she has to work late today.

   When I walk into our little home I put my up in my room before walking down into the living room and turning the TV on and turning on my favorite show, RuPaul. My mom always says it's weird that I like to watch a TV show about men dressing up as woman when I HATE dressing like a girl and want to be a guy, but I like it not because I wan to do that, but because of how amazing these woman are and how funny it can be sometimes.