Ellen
Since that night, things have been...awkward to say the least. We act like normal in front of the cameras but the minute we stop filming, the sexual tension rises and we run off to separate trailers. Sandra was nice enough to let me stay in her trailer once I told her what had happened. She said she knew it would happen eventually, she was actually surprised it didn't happen sooner.
Chris has been in New York working on some big project for the past month so I haven't had to deal with him. Though, even if he were here, it's not like he would be paying any attention to me anyways.
Slipping my tennis shoes on, I grab my backpack and slip out of the house. Slinging the bag on my shoulders, I decide to take a hike on the one day I have off for a while. Shonda decided to give us all a well needed break from filming.
I drive out of the city and toward the mountain that my dad used to take us hiking on. Once I arrive, I park on the side and step out into the warm sunshine. Wearing nothing but black workout pants and a blue sports bra with a black jacket on, I begin my climb up the trail, toward my destination.
The air becomes slightly colder the further I climb which is a welcome relief. I adjust the ball cap I have on my head, wiping the sweat from my forehead. Finally, I reach the top and smile at the beauty. The streets look tiny and I can see almost the entire city from up here. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in.
"Hey."
I jump, my eyes flashing open. The sudden fright made me loose my balance and I feel myself begin to fall toward the edge of the cliff. I gasp, my arms flailing to find something to grab onto. A pair of strong hands grab my waist and pull me away from my imminent death.
We stumble away from the edge and fall to the ground, my body landing on the chest of a man.
"Thank you." I gasp out.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." a familiar voice says. I look into Patrick eyes and quickly get up off of him.
"What're you doing here?" I ask.
"I come here all the time. Every chance I get. What're you doing here?" he asks, getting up and dusting off his pants.
"My dad used to take me here." I tell him.
"Us."
"Pardon?" I ask.
"He used to take us here. I came too." he corrects me. I smile, remembering the fun times Pat and I had here. Why are we so different now?
"Oh." I say. We stand in silence for a few awkward seconds before Patrick breaks it.
"Well I should go then. I'll leave." he says, walking away. I watch him walk down the hill, careful not to fall.
"How do you feel?" I blurt out suddenly, startling even myself. He stops and turns around, looking up at me.
"When you're with her. Jill. How do you feel?" I ask, a little softer this time. He begins to walk back up at me.
"I feel...I don't know. I feel good. At home." he says, shrugging.
"You're lying." I tell him, noticing it.
"Come on, El. Don't do this to me." he says, looking at me.
"Tell me the truth." I demand.
"Alright. I feel trapped. Like I have to watch what I say. I feel insecure. Like I'm never doing anything right. She hates when I act and race. She wants kids, I don't-"
"You don't?" I ask. He smirks at me.
"Not with her."
"With who then?" I ask. He chuckles and shakes his head.
"How do you feel with Chris?" he asks, changing the subject.
"I feel empty. I don't love Chris and I know he doesn't love me. But we are both afraid of being alone." I tell him honestly.
"How do you feel about me?" he asks.
"Patrick Dempsey." I giggle, shaking my head.
"Come on, El. I just wanna know." he says.
"You first."
"Alright. I've known you for as long as I can remember and you're my family. El, I feel comfortable with you. You're my home. You've always been there. When I was bullied, when I got my first girlfriend. You were there, helping me. And you're still here, thirty years later. You're my best friend." he says, suddenly serious.
"And I hate whatever is happening between us. That night at the strip club, I don't regret anything. I just wish I wasn't married when I did it. We didn't even kiss, Ellen. It wasn't a big deal. I'm over it. It's forgotten; out of the way." he says, stepping closer to me.
"I agree. Let's just move on. Be friends again." I tell him. He nods and grabs my hand.
"I got this secret place I found. I wanna show it to you." he says mischievously. I giggle as he pulls me away from the trail and through the woods.
