Into the Light

31 | YOU WERE MINE FIRST

"Help me!" Tyrande screamed at Illidan's back. When he didn't turn, she smashed the sphere into him. He spun around, fierce, his hands clenched into fists. She stared, shocked into forgetting the reason she had flown to him. His chest was torn to ribbons, blood covered his torso and arms. She opened her mouth to say something, when a massive tether slammed into the sphere. Its maw opened, sliding over the surface, snapping, seeking a place to grip. Another followed, then another. Unable to grip the sphere, they wrapped around it, and began to drag her across the Nether.

She sensed what was happening before her thoughts caught up. The foul things were taking her to Gul'dan, to her body, and to what was left of Illidan; to Sargeras. She pounded on the sides, trying to shake the things off. Outside, Illidan bellowed, clawing at them. He pulled one free of the sphere, but as soon as he lifted the tether off, it snapped back down in a new place. It was hopeless. They needed Elune's Light. Why wasn't she helping them?

"Elune! Where are you?" Tyrande cried out, sobbing in terror. She could see the portal to the Chamber of the Eye approaching fast. There was almost no time left.

The Light came, burning through her once more. The tethers endured--so close to the portal and the power of Sargeras--resisting Elune's Light. The intensity increased. Tyrande's flesh burned, her entire body seething with Light. The tethers screamed, the sound of souls being extinguished. Light crackled along the tethers' lengths, stretching all the way to the portal and beyond. Elune poured more Light through Tyrande. Tyrande roared, her body incinerating. She became a ball of fire, a star, pure light. The tethers exploded. And for a while, there was nothing.

Tyrande revived quaking with agony. The Light worked to rebuild her broken, ruined body. She could feel the sphere moving, fast, she cracked her eyes open, so deep in pain she couldn't even feel fear. More tethers already? No. Illidan pushed against the sphere, taking them as far from the portal as he could. Tyrande closed her eyes, and let Illidan carry her away, far away from the portal and the one who haunted her dreams.

Illidan was floating beside her when she woke. He looked away, but she knew he had been watching her. The wounds in his chest still seeped blood. He had cut himself deep.

"I am able to sense you in the Chamber now," Illidan said. "Elune may have defeated the tethers, but the Light she used to vanquish them went straight into your body, corrupted. Gul'dan is using Elune's Light to feed me through your body. Together with her Light we are being remade into--"

"Demons," Tyrande finished, bleak. "And what will happen to Elune once her Light is extinguished? Will she become Sargeras's slave through me?" Tyrande shuddered. "Illidan, what have we done? Is there nothing we can do to stop this?"

"We keep moving, making it harder for Gul'dan to find you. It's you he wants, not me." He laughed, bitter. "He will finish me off with those tethers of his when he has depleted all the Light from Elune and taken you away. He knows I will have lost the will to fight once I have lost you."

His frankness hit Tyrande hard. She knew he still cared about her, but she hadn't known how much. As much as ever it seemed. He had hidden his feelings well. He swallowed. She watched the movement in his throat. Once, long, long ago she had kissed that throat, as he made love to her. She closed her eyes, willing the memory away.

She pressed her hand against the sphere. "It wasn't you, it was another you, a tainted you. I shouldn't have said it was you."

Illidan's jaw clenched. "He feeds off my love for you, long buried in my body and in the pieces of my soul Gul'dan has stolen. He feeds off it, and torments me with it. But he will not violate you again, because I won't let him. That much at least, I can do to protect you."

Tyrande didn't say anything. He met her eyes and pressed his palm against the sphere, covering her hand with his.

"I could never hurt you Tyrande, I would kill myself first. But I cannot allow you to dismiss my part in what happened to you so easily. I have to accept even though I have no knowledge of it, it was me, at least it was a part of me. Ever since that night we shared, I have never stopped longing for you. I hate myself for what I did to you, I will never forgive myself for it, ever."

"But you stopped, when I cried out, you stopped."

He shook his head, brooding, his remorse palpable through the thick wall of the sphere. "It is not enough."

She couldn't let him suffer, she had to tell him the truth. Her confession came out before she could stop herself. "In my dream I was willing, but when I woke I was not. It was different there, everything was simple. It seemed right. It felt right."

He looked up, taut with hope. She pushed away from the wall, and floated in the middle of the sphere, needing to put space between them.

"I too have not forgotten the time we shared together, although I have tried, oh how I have tried," she murmured, ashamed, yet relieved to finally admit the truth after all this time. "I have struggled for so long to do what has been expected of me, to love your brother, and be a worthy consort, but it was always you, Illidan. Always. Even if it could never be."

"Tyrande--"

Tyrande felt her heart beginning to beat faster. The way he looked at her . . . she remembered it so well. Malfurion had never looked at her like that. She held up her hand, unwilling to let Illidan finish. "I belong to Malfurion now, there can be no going back."

"Even so, I will protect you to my last breath. You were mine first Tyrande." Illidan held her gaze as he braced his hands against the sphere and began pushing them onwards into the void. Neither of them said anything for a long, long time.