Guilty Pleasure

9. Ben

The next couple of days were completely marked by Ben.

After our first official date, we'd started talking even more, and he'd taken me out several other times. The day after we bowled, he took me to the movies - we did the thing where we asked for tickets to the next thing playing, and we ended up watching a kid's movie that had us laughing the entire time. A couple of days later, he'd surprised me after school with an offer to go for coffee, and we'd sat there for hours talking and laughing about whatever we could think of. On Friday, he'd taken me out to a "proper dinner," as he called it; a fancy restaurant with a fancy name and fancy – but amazing – food.

And every time, when he'd go to drop me off at my house, he'd end the date with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

I knew that it shouldn't worry me that he hadn't tried to kiss me yet - I should be grateful that he wanted to take things slow and wasn't trying to push me into doing things I wasn't ready to do. The problem was that I did feel ready and I wanted to do these things. I just wasn't confident enough to try and do something about it myself.

Annie assured me that I had nothing to be worried about. She'd even offered to talk to James to see what Ben thought, but I hadn't wanted that - when he finally decided to kiss me, if he ever decided to kiss me, I wanted it to be because he wanted to. Not because James or Annie or anybody else told him he should.

My friends were going insane with this, more than I thought was healthy or normal. With the way they were acting, anybody would think that they were the ones going on dates instead of me. I didn't think a person could be so happy about another person's date, but they'd proven me wrong.

They kept telling me that Ben was perfect and that we were so cute together, but I always brushed them off. He was too perfect, unrealistically perfect, and he was bound to mess up sometime. They thought it was the most ridiculous argument in history, and it did nothing to dim their excitement.

Of course, with all their excitement also came all the questions. Lots and lots of questions.

"So has he finally kissed you yet?" Iris asked over the phone the day after Ben had taken me out to dinner.

I sighed involuntarily. I hated that it bothered me so much - I'd spent all this time wanting a guy who'd want to take things slow, and now that I'd gotten it I wanted him to speed up. "Not yet. He's coming to pick me up in a while, though."

"Again? Holy crap, Elle, you've gone out so much. That's amazing."

I blushed. With the amount of blushing I'd been doing these days, I would've thought my cheeks would grow tired of it. Instead, it seemed as though they'd never tire, no matter how much I blushed. "I know. I mean, it's not that much, I guess. Just a couple of dates."

"Do you think he'll kiss you today?"

"I don't know. I- I hope so?" My voice was softer than it had been. Though my friends had all noticed it on their own accord, I'd never voiced my desire for him to kiss me.

Iris squealed. "Make a move, then! He probably doesn't know you want anything, and he's just being respectful."

"Iris, I don't know how to make a move. Do you think I've ever made a move on a guy before? I have no idea how all of this is supposed to work."

"If you don't want to make a move, you at least have to let him know you want something more."

"What, should I go tell him, hey, Ben, you should really kiss me right now? I don't think so."