Survive

Chapter 25

Staying silent, Liam tried to get me to talk about what Luke and I had talked about but I wasn't sure that I could talk about it. Just even thinking about it had the effect of almost sending me into tears. Getting up off my bed, I walked to the bathroom without saying a word. Once in there, I locked the door and just stood there for awhile. Opening the draws of the vanity, I grabbed one of the razors that were in there. Looking at it, I hadn't thought it would come to this.

Starting the shower, I undressed and got in with the razor in hand. Just looking at it made me want to cry. Putting it to my skin, I slid it across my forearm and watched at the blood began to run. Not enough to do any real harm but enough to know what it was there and it was a cut. It was strange because I didn't feel it. The blade just ran across my arm not really causing any pain. I thought that it would have hurt but in reality it didn't. One cut turned into two, and I let my stress flow with the blood going down the drain.

Getting out, the cuts were still pleading a little. Drying off, I put my hoodie in and pressed the fabric against the fresh cuts. As I walked back to my room Liam was still sitting in my bed not doing anything but waiting for me. Trying to put on one if my best fake smiles I could manage. Walking over to him, I sat down and just stayed as calm as I could.

"You doing ok? You seem a little off since Luke left." Liam said while running my back.

"Yeah it kinda just took me by surprise is all." I said trying to make my statement believable.

He just looked at me trying to see through my lie. The thing is that I did tell the truth a little but it didn't just surprise me. It hurt to see him here and to talk to him when he was the reason for most of my punishments. I know laying the blame on someone wasn't the ideal thing to do but he was pretty much the reason for them. Putting a smile on my face, I looked at Liam and sniffles a little. He smiled at that and hugged me. Being in his arms felt amazing but I knew that it was wrong for the way I felt about him. Pulling away slightly, I leaned back and turned my head to the t.v.

"Let's watch some t.v. I really just want to forget about what happened earlier." I said turning to face a him slightly.

Not saying anything, he just faced the t.v and turned it on. Some movie was playing but I was to coopped up in my mind to really understand what was going on with the movie. Looking over at Liam I could tell that it was a funny one because he just couldn't control his laughing. Seeing that made me smile and think about what good memories we had together. In the summertime, we would go swim at the pond near the house or in winter we would build igloos and throw snowballs at each other. I missed the days when we were young and didn't have to care about a thing.

Snapping out of my thoughts, Liam was looking at me waving his hand in my face trying to get my attention. Focusing in his hand, I realized that the movie was over and it was already close to six. Shaking my head, I got up and grabbed a tissue or blow my snotty nose. Looking back at Liam, I saw that he was already up and headed to the door. Following behind him, we made our way down the stair and into the kitchen where my father and Jenny were already seated. Sitting next to Liam, Jenny watched me with her hawk like eyes. Looking down at the plate, I could feel her still watching me as the boys talked about football.

"Feeling any better this evening Lee?" My dad asked me pulling me out of my blank stare.

"Yeah the tea and crackers that Liam brought me really helped." I said quietly.

"Well aren't you glad you have such an amazing step brother to watch over you while you are sick?" Jenny said with that tone that made my skin want to peel away.

"Yes. I am very thankful for how Liam has been the last couple of days and I couldn't that k him enough." I said smiling in Liam's direction.

As the night went on it felt like her eyes never left me. She would turn towards my father every once and awhile to act like she was interested in his work, but then she was back at the staring. Shifting in my seat, I grabbed my water and took a small sip from it almost choking as I tried to inhale it.