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The hospital

SELF HARM ALMOST ALL TROUGH THIS CHAPTER YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

I just wanna die. I grab my razor and cut my wrist three times. I said good bye to everyone but Ethan. I cant bring myself to it. He will never love me anyways. I cut 10 more times. 13 cuts. I start to feel a little dizzy watching the blood drip down my wrist. I cut 3 more times. I hear voices but i cant make them out. I see all the blood. I start to feel dizzy and the last thing i remember was someone rushing in. But who my parents aren't here tonight. I fall into a deep peaceful sleep. Finally I'm gone. But All I see is darkness. I dream of Ethan. His smile, His eyes, his voice, The way he smells. I shouldn't have left him. But what am I saying he would never liked me. To him that kiss meant nothing. I hear voices. And.... People crying. But W-who is that it sounds like My Mom.. And my dad. My siblings "Whens is she gonna wake up Mommy" I can recall that voice anywhere my youngest brother Kian Only a couple years old. He was my favorite I loved him with all my heart. I hear someone else. Zach maybe.. Jack?.. No.. Ethan... Oh my god. Ethan, Why is he here? And someone else. A guy for sure. I-Is that David I start to cry a little. I feel someone grab my hand and I feel a little kid lay next to me. Its Kian I could tell I don't know how many times he has slept in my bed when he had nightmares. He had them as bed as I do. The person who grabbed my hand. I think its Ethan "Come back" He pauses "Come back to me" My heart shatters at this moment. "That day I wanted to ask you out so bad" I feel a drop of water on my hand and i realize he is crying. "But i feel like you would never like me" I squeeze his hand and my eyes start to open a little bit* "Jess?" I whimper in pain and he yells for my parents. I can here them rush in but all i can see is a really bright light. The doctor comes in and shines a flash light in my eyes. He grabs my wrist with the cuts on it and I scream in pain tears running down my face. Finally he leaves and i whimper curling myself up in a ball. I see Kian come running twords me and i smile as he jumps in my arms. "Hey there little buddy" I smile more tears running down my face. "Buddy this is Ethan" I point over to Ethan but I cant bring myself to look at him. Kian goes and tackles him in a hug "Hiya Ethan" I smile at how happy he is. I watch as everyone leaves the room and its just me and Ethan. I look down at my hands. This is so awkward I'm basically just in a bra."Jess I." He stops and looks at me. I finally bring myself to look at him. I start to cry and I watch as he pulls me into his arms. I'm Basically in his lap now crying. I just wanna go home and sleep in my bed with my stuffie. He runs his hand lightly trough my hair and I push into his hand lightly still crying. "Shh. Your ok Jess , Your ok I'm right here princess" I whimper and start to calm down "Good girl" I sniffles and hide my face in his chest. "Mmh" I stay in his arms for a while his running his hand through my hand. "I need to tell you something" Ethan blurts out. I nod against his chest. "Would" He pauses "I know this isnt a good time but I cant wait. Would you wanna be my girlfriend" I think "Yes" He smiles pulling me on his lap more and hugging me. I have to tell him Everything. I widen my eyes. I wiggle out of his grip and go to the bed laying down and closing my eyes. The doctor walks in and take out the Iv putting a band aid on. I smile and curl up in a ball again. Ethan lays next to me and pulls me into his arms again. I hear the door open and my family walk in. I notice my dads eyes are all red from crying. He pulls me into a hug. "I'm ok dad. I'm so sorry" He starts crying again my dad doesn't cry. He isn't emotional like that. He steps out of the room. My mom walks up to me "Ethan you can stay the night with her tonight Non of us can stay." I blush at my mom offer and whimpers and the pain on my arm increases. My mom tries to hand me a pill and i shake my head. I cant take pills i trow them up "Jess you have to" I shake my head "N-No I cant" Ethan grips my shoulder and she hands the pill over to him. "I don't want it don't make me" I whimper "Jess don't you want the pain to be gone" I nod and chew on my lip trying not to slip into little space "Then open your mouth ok" I open my mouth and he puts the pill in my mouth *He grabs a water bottle opining it and then holding it up to my lips* He tips it and i hold the water in my mouth "Swallow Jess" I shake my head "Now' I whimper and swallow gaging on the pill. I start to cry a little. My mom has left a while ago now to go get food. He pulls me into his arms and rocks me back and forth a little. "Shh your ok see your ok Jess" I whimper and sniffle. "I need to tell you something else" Ethan says. What he tells me is shocking. He tells me He is a dom a daddy dom to be more specific. I widen my eyes as he talks telling me everything. He blushes looking down "I get it if you don't wanna be with" I cut him off placing my lips to his. He kisses back running his hand trough my hair. We pull back gasping for air. I want to tell him I just don't know how. "Hey Ethan" I look at him "Hmm" He asks me I tell him everything and this time he has wide eyes. I smile and cuddle into his chest. You see by everything what I mean is I'm not just a little I'm also a kitten so yup. I here the door open and my Aunt Lea is walking in with fuzzy Pj pants and a long sleeve shirt. See I love her so much "The doctor said I could bring you real cloths" I smile "THANK YOU SO MUCH" she laughs softly and I run grabbing them  running into the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. Oh my god I look horrible. I put on the Pjs and walk out crawling into the bed."Cute Underwear" Ethan says Laughing and i hit his chest lightly "Ethannnnnn" I wine. He growls and kisses all over my face. I giggle and push him off me a little. "I need foooooddd" I say that as my mom walks in with McDonalds. "YAY!!" I scream and "Calm down Baby" Ethan whispers in my ear and I blush. My mom hands me my food and I smile "Thank you mommy" I see Ethan holding back a laugh and I flick Him off when my mom isn't looking. He growls and i giggle taking a bite of my Chicken nugget. "The doctor said you will get out of the hospital tomorrow maybe." I smile at her. I know when I get out of here she will just yell at me. I eat My food and put all my trash into a bag. I lay back in bed. "Hey baby I gotta go for a little bit" He whispers in my ear. "Nooo Don't go" I wine and sniffle. He sighs and pulls me into his arms. "Fine. I'll stay" I whimpers and cuddle into him falling asleep.

THIS IS A LONG ASS CHAPTER I KNOW THAT SOME OF YOU MAY HAVE SKIPPED THIS CHAPTER BUT I WOULD ADVISE READING IT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT.

NOT EDITED