I try to remember the important facts
the vital things
things that will benefit me.
but unfortunately I've found
that the nightmares, the dreams, pure fantasy
seems to ingrain itself onto the inside of my skull
and the inside of my eyelids
perpetually feeding me lies
that no matter what I do
I cannot truly escape.
until one day I will gouge my eyes out
and smash my skull to ivory shards
maybe then I could start anew
and how could I forget
the thing that harbors all the murky memories?
removing brain from it's place
(using the term 'it's place' lightly, of course, for my brain has always felt out-of-place)
running my fingers across the curves and bumps
its repulsive slimy texture
causing the final tidal wave of hatred towards the thing
I rip the bloodied creature (for its a separate entity) apart
disregarding the squelching sounds that fill the room
up to the point where there is
nothing.
just a zombie with no memory
of who she was, is, or will be.
is that what you want?
