A/N: Have some fitting music and a picture of SUPERSAIYAN-OMG-IT'SOVER9000-BRUTISHJOCKNESHA.
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Joyously, I arrived at the ice-cream parlour. It's one of my favourite places ever, mainly because 1) it has attractive guys and 2) food, which makes it a double win. Greedily, I got three large dollops of nose-flavoured ice-cream, and left without paying. Isn't ice-cream supposed to be free in this kind of story?
Continuing with the important stuff: where was I? Oh, yeah. I need to find out what happened to my mom and why Miley Cyrus was at home. I could've at least got an autograph. But let's not fret about these silly things. In a fit of geniusness, I phoned Kyary to see if she had any words of wisdom or advice.
When she answered the phone, I could hear whale sounds, which meant she was meditating.
"What is it you wish to know?" she questioned.
"Do you have anything wise to say?" I asked. On the phone, I heard an "ommmmm" sound.
"When the reindeer-toad doth appear bikini-clad, your time shall be a pig in a pearl", she wisely said. I wondered where the shibe she got those proverbs from.
Returning home, those words played in my head. What the brick does it mean? Anyways, I knew it would be important in solving my problem. Once again, I opened the door, only to find my mother being poked with a spork by Brutishjocknesha. That traitor; I thought she was my friend. Wisely following Kyary's advice, I hid in a corner and listened.
"I still need ta kno wear u hidd teh consurt tikkitz, dweeb" threatened Brutishjocknesha in a threatening fashion.
"I already told you, I HAVE NO ¥€₩£ING CLUE WHAT YOU'RE GASSING ABOUT!" snapped mum.
My "friend" didn't understand what my mom said, and continued to poke her. I needed to hatch a plan. Intelligently, I hatched a chicken's egg and threw the chick at Brutishjocknesha.
Seeing I had managed to break her favourite nail, she writhed in agony and turned Super-Saiyan. This is what happened next:
A wild SUPERSAIYAN-OMG-IT'SOVER9000-BRUTISHJOCKNESHA appeared.
ENRAGEDVASELINA used CARAMELLDANSEN. It was ineffective, but proved effective anyway.
SUPERSAIYAN-OMG-IT'SOVER9000-BRUTISHJOCKNESHA used SUPER TWERK OF DOOOOOOM. ENRAGEDVASELINA fainted but didn't faint.
MILEYCYRUS threw a MASTER BALL at SUPERSAIYAN-OMG-IT'SOVER9000-BRUTISHJOCKNESHA.
SUPERSAIYAN-OMG-IT'SOVER9000-BRUTISHJOCKNESHA is now in MILEYCYRUS' team.
The Bitchémon battle ended there.
Ok, I was practically saved by Miley Cyrus, but I still didn't know what she was doing in my residence. When I asked her what her reasons were, she replied by twerking. Later, I discovered that Miley Cyrus could only communicate by twerking, and that each different twerk had a different meaning.
Bamboozled, I rode a unicorn to my bedroom and hibernated until a skeleton popped out.
The End. Or is it?
I thought so, until I noticed Harry Styles was in my bedroom, trying on my make-up and clothes.
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