Freak tried Art (4)

I found old art... I'm now scarred for life... (+ Freak's diary)

WARNING:
Please do not look at this if you:
- are emotionally unstable
- have a rather good opinion on me/my art (which is no one)
-have epilepsy
- want to keep your eyesight
- judge people on what sins they did in the past

I do NOT take ANY responsibility for the damage you might take.

Please reconsider scrolling further down if you don't:
a) love to tease me
b) want to have a good laugh
Or c) already have a mental illness or brain damage

Thank you for reading this warning message.
I will now continue with the chapter.

Everyone who doesn't want to be scarred for life gone? Yes? Good!
Because I just found an old drawing of mine. And boy, does this look TERRIFYING.
Before I show you this picture I wanna add to the shame by telling you that I drew this in 6th grade. Two years ago, when I just started to actually TRY to draw good. And this abomination was the result:

Please kill me. I should never have put my name onto this. I'm so ashamed. I wanna die on the spot.
And I now get why most people told me my horses looked like sausages. I couldn't really take critique back then.
Please kill me... NOW!!!
What even IS this thing?! In my defense, the legs are probably so short on the front because the paper ended there... but still!!! WHY?!?
If I could go back in time and say something to the me from two years ago, I'd just bitch slap them and steal all their pencils. And then I'd probably say something like "Cut off those stupid bangs of yours!". Yeah, sounds good enough.

I hated myself back then more than I hate myself now. Like, I was just a bundle of self hate. And I was drowning myself in self pity. I even had a diary in that I wrote lie once a week.
Ya know what? Imma just translate it for you cuz I'm in the mood.
My first diary entry, May 17th 2014 (Saturday):
Wow, really unbelievable, that I'm writing a diary. Well, I gotta let my feelings out SOMEWHERE, right? In fact, everything I'm wishing for my birthday, is being dead. The whole world seems to hate me.
If I manage to live on, I'll let out my frustration, my sadness or other feelings on this book as often as possible...
Who I love, that, I'll keep to myself. ;)
My parents seem to only be interested in football/soccer. The only device they can't control, is my Nintendo and in front of me lies a pile of shards, tgat once was my life. Well, dear diary, welcome to my world.

I literally wrote it like that. I didn't change anything. And for better understanding:
1) I was a little emo child with absolutely no friends back then, and I didn't do that well on covering up my feelimhs so I thought, it would be best if I let out everything on a book.
2) I didn't even love anyone. I just hoped that if I lied and said in my diary that I was in love, that I could really fall in love. Stupid me.
3) at that time, my parents were watching a soccer game and because I was annoying, they simply shut off the Internet and took away my phone, which meant that my "Nintendo" was the only electronic device I had left. At that time, I didn't know where the game boy was. And my world broke down back then cuz I absolutely loved my phone.
4) By, Nintendo, I mean my Nintendo DS Lite.
5) I didn't even plan to kill myself back then. I just prayed that a car would run me over so that it wasn't my fault I died. Because I actually feared people would think even worse of me if I just gave up and do tge deed myself. Actually, I still feel like that to this day. If there's one thing I hate, then if people think I'm weak.
6) I wrote this entry because my day had been really crappy and the highlight of the day was that I found this empty book I could write my diary in.

I'd take a picture of the book, but I'm to lazy. Just take the entry as I wrote it. You wouldn't understand a thing I wrote, anyway, cuz it's in german.
Btw, anyone interested in hearing more from this diary? I kinda had fun rereading this entry XD

Bye bye :)