Habits

Habits | two

| two

THEN

Today was the day. First day of senior year. To me, it was the most exciting day of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love school, but I'm ready to start college classes and move to a different state. My main goal this year is to keep straight A's and get accepted into college.

Today was also the day that I would meet someone who would turn my world upside down. Who would make my heart jump a bit and my hands tingle.

"Isabella! Come on sweetheart. You're gonna be late!" My father yelled from downstairs.

I was nervous. No. Nervous wasn't the word. I was terrified. Terrified that if I walked downstairs I would be punished. Punished by my mother. But not in front of my father. She would never harm me in front of him. She loved him, not me. She loved my sister, not me.

Since senior year was a new year at school, I wanted to try something new. To wear jeans. Jeans were a big no in our home. Neither Jacqueline or I were allowed to wear them. I made the mistake of wearing them one day and I regretted it. That was the first time my mother ever hit me. It terrified me and I never done it again. I try as much as possible to stay away from her. When we cross paths I say as little as possible to avoid any kind of punishment.

As I make my way downstairs I hear chatter in the kitchen. My mother is the first to see me. As her eyes make contact with mine, her smile drops.

"Honey  what are you wearing?"She asks so kindly.

"It's jeans darling. She looks fine." My father explains. "When we went out the other day she seen them and she wanted them. What's the problem?"

If looks could kill I would be dead. "Oh, it's just that we've never wore jeans in this house." She spits out.

"Daddy can I get some too?" Jacqueline whines.

My father nods his head and smiles at both of us. "Of course you can! Both of you can. I'm tired of watching the both of you wear dresses and skirts." The more my dad talked I could see the hate in my mothers eye, directed towards me.

Why couldn't the earth swallow me whole at the moment? I knew I would regret this later.

"C'mon kiddo, let's get you to school."

As we walked towards the front door I made the mistake of looking back. They were both looking at me with a smile. Because I know they would enjoy tonight. They would enjoy my pain. They would enjoy the blood as it would drip from my skin to the floor.

NOW

I sway to the beat of the music and grind into my partner. I feel the drops of sweat rolling on my body and disappearing. My body feels as if it's on fire, as the adrenaline rushes throughout my bones.

"Can I take you home with me tonight?" The stranger asks.

I mentally laugh. Of course he wanted to take me home. Every guy I met in the club wanted to take me to their home and make me their little play toy.

"Just shut up and dance."

We danced for a couple of minutes and eventually went to take a seat. I looked around and smiled as everyone danced and drunkly made out with a stranger.

This was my place now. My home. My safe haven.

Even though I spent most of my time drunk or high it felt better than before. My life before sucked. Literally. My mother beat me when I did the wrong thing and my sister hated me. Jacqueline always wanted what I had. My father on the other hand always showed me love and kindness. He loved me. But he choose who to believe and left me no choice but to leave. To leave and find a place where I could fit in.

"Hey baby."

I rolled my eyes. "It's about time you made it."

Alexa laughed and hugged me. "You know I'm always fashionably late. Plus, looks like you already scored a hottie." She pointed towards the boy I met earlier.

"He's not all that. He's getting on my nerves Lexa."

She chuckles and shakes her head. She takes her phone out and starts texting someone. As I try and look at who she's texting I feel something grasp my arm.

"You ready to go?" The boy from earlier, Max, asked as he started kissing my neck.

"There's a party at Neal's. We should go." Alexa informs me.

I give her a pointed look as Max holds me tighter. I shrug and shove him away from me. Alexa giggles as I pour another drink in my mouth.

"Well let's go. Lead the way and get me the hell away from here."

"That's my girl. Tonight we're gonna drink and," she wiggles her eyebrows, "get laid." She whispers in my ear.

As we laugh I hear a voice that I haven't heard in a while. A voice that I've been dreading to hear.

"Isabella? Is that you?"