Descent into Darkness

"TRAITOR"

Chapter 6 "TRAITOR"

September 6, 1982 

I can feel the end stalking ever closer. Every moment that passes makes it harder to draw breath. I can feel death hovering over my shoulder, just out of reach. He is a continuous presence, never far away. I can sometimes feel his icy grip on the back of my neck, like a caress, telling me it is okay to let go, to give in. How easy would it be to just let go and join him, to let him sweep me away from this prison. It would be like falling asleep after a long hard day. I long to give in, to end all the pain and suffering. Every second of every day it is harder and harder to push him back, to resist his lure. But I have promised myself that I will hold out, that I will resist. I need to find my master. I owe him so much, more than he even realizes. I refuse to believe he is gone, I know the lengths he went to in order to defeat death. He is not dead, he can't be. But even if I can't hold out long enough to find him, I must finish my story. I must leave behind a record of his life, prove that he lived and loved. He deserves that much from me, especially since it was my fault his life was snuffed out like a burnt match. I have forgotten so many things in this place, but I remember that day like it was yesterday. I can remember every horrible detail. 

We were sitting on the bed, his hand on my face. He looked so worried about what I had to tell him. But he never found out, I never got the chance to tell him. Before I could get the words out, the door of our small cabin flew open and our heads snapped up in unison. I caught barely a glimpse of my mother standing in the doorway before I felt Drax's hands ripped away from me and a loud thump sounds through the air as he is slammed against a far wall. 

I try to get up and go to him, I try to draw my want and protect us, but I don't get the chance. With another wave of her wand, my mother has frozen me on that bed, my eyes wide open to the horror in front of me. My mother stalks into the room, her face contorted with her anger and hatred. And that hatred isn't only directed at Drax. It is aimed at me. I feel it like a large knife stabbing straight through me with nothing I can do about it. 

She doesn't say a word. She just stands over his writhing form, her wand tip aimed straight at his chest. A red flash flies from her wand and hits him and then he is screaming. It is the worst thing I have ever heard in my entire life and it rips me apart. I can feel tears streaming down my face and sobs begging for release I can't give. I struggle fruitlessly against the spell holding me in place. She hits him again and his screams double, they are racking and blood curdling. I have never wished for death more than in that moment. I wanted my life to be riped away from me, to never hear or see again, but when do I ever get what I ask for? 

I watch and listen as she opens long red cuts all over his body, spilling his "dirty blood". His robes are soaked and and his face is getting paler by the minute. His cheeks are streaked with blood and tears. We both know what is coming and I can feel my body shaking so hard I am afraid I will fall off the bed and lose sight of him. I watch my mothers face, the look of triumph as she aims her wand to issue the final blow. Adraxius's eyes lock on mine, full of love and forgivness and guilt and in that moment, I feel my heart shatter into a million pieces and something in me snaps. I watch him as he mouths "I love you," one last time and I can't even return the sentiment though I long to with every bone in my body. Then there is a flash of green light and I watch as those dark green eyes, so full of life and love, flicker and go out, never to see again. 

"Bellartix, you brought this on yourself. This is your fault," says my mother, advancing on me slowly. Her hate filled gaze locked on me. But I don't look at her. I can't rip my gaze from his body, so broken and lifeless on the floor. And for the first time in my life, I want my wand in my hand not to protect myself, but to torture and kill. I want to make her suffer, to cut her open again and again and again. I want to watch as the life drains out of her. I want to see the light leave her dark eyes forever.