Change Your Ticket

Depressed and Alone

Wanna know what's worse than being depressed? Some people know...I know they do. I feel like it's just me though. The only thing worse than being depressed is being alone. It's like you don't have anybody... well you really don't. Nobody is there to dry your tears... or calm your shaky nerves... not even to tell you that everything is okay. Nothing is okay. Not when Harry doesn't even want to see me. He hates me. I feel another tear roll down my cheek as I think of my beloved Harry. His eyes so green, beautiful, and rare. An emerald shiny color that is so unique it's own way.
His smile is so perfect. He smiles and lightens the room, like the sun on a boring rainy day. I love it when he grins just a little. Allowing me to know that he liked something without showing too much affection or indication.

His hair was always in little curls, which kind of just did their own thing, at least from time to time. I miss the little nicknames he gave me. Like Lou or Boo. It's heartbreaking that I don't get called that anymore... it's either Louis or Tommo. I sigh now and look out the window. It's still dark outside... and I haven't had any sleep yet. I've either been thinking of Harry or crying my eyes out.
I feel another tear roll down my face and sigh. There's no way I'm going to get sleep tonight. Not with Harry stuck in my brain.
Just when I think things will only get worse... I'm slowly falling asleep.

I feel someone get into the bed. Harry? No. Couldn't be. Could it?
I feel arms wrap around my waist and I know...without a doubt...that it's him. I feel tears fall from my eyes again and stream down my face. Is this how relationships work? One of them constantly miserable? No? Yeah, I didn't think so.
I hear him shush me softly and I know it should calm me. It really doesn't though. Now I'm shaking.
             "Lou?" He calls, his voice deep and raspy. It sounds hurt with a mixture of guilt. "I owe you an apology... a lifetime of apologies." He traces his fingers in my hair and I can't help the small smile that comes on. "I love you...I want you...more importantly...I need you."
I don't want to melt at Harry's words, so why do I? I melt right in his arms as he kisses my feathery brown hair again and again. I fall asleep again listening to him hum the tune to Strong.