Under Suspicion

The Spice of Life

“The Spice of Life”

Scene:  Patrol car, after roll call.

Earnest:  (On radio.)  Lincoln two-four-five, start of day-watch, clear.

Dispatch:  Lincoln two-four-five, clear.

Earnest:  (Sighs heavily.)  You know, I know it was a long day yesterday, but I kinda liked being in on the investigation and bust of that scumbag, Reynolds.

Wry:  Yeah, it was kind of rewarding, wasn’t it?

Earnest:  (Nods.)  I could see myself doing that one day, being a detective.  Like Miller.  What about you?

Wry:  (Shrugs.)  Maybe.  I don’t know, I’ve never been bitten by the detective bug.

Earnest:  But Pete, you’d be great at it.  You’re sharp—you saw this case for what it was and practically handed it to Miller on a silver platter, and it was your idea to keep Reynolds away from his apartment that led directly to the bust.

Wry:  Yeah, but... if I was a detective I’d have to invest in more suits....

Earnest:  You mean you’d get to invest in a few suits.  Wouldn’t hurt you to spend a little money on it.  And you wouldn’t have to wear the uniform anymore.

Wry:  What are you talking about?  I happen to look good in this uniform.

Earnest:  (Laughs.)  Whatever you say, Pete.  (Pauses.)  By the way...  Fitz almost nailed you earlier.

Wry:  (Looks at Earnest.)  What do you mean?  Nailed me for what?

Earnest:  For Reynolds—and his bruises.

Wry:  It was by the book, Earnest.  You were there.

Earnest:  Yeah, I was there.  And I saw you yank him around once he was cuffed, which is how his wrists got bruised.

Wry:  So?  He’s a bad guy.  We caught him in the act of doing a bad thing.  And we prevented him from doing an even worse thing.  I don’t see a problem here.

Earnest:  What about his head?

Wry:  What about his head?  You heard me warn him to watch it when getting into the car.  It was dark, maybe he couldn’t see what he was doing.

Earnest:  Pete—

Wry:  Earnest, stop!  Just please—stop.  I should think you know me well enough by now to know I’m a pretty straight-shooter.  I may bend the rule-book from time to time in the interest of justice and fairness, but I do not play fast-and-loose with it.  Besides, like I told Fitz, Miller was there the whole time.  He saw every move we both made, and he didn’t have any complaints about it.

Earnest:  Yeah, but...  I know this Reynolds guy kind of got under your skin, so—

Wry:  (Pulls car over to side of the road and puts it in Park.)  Earnest, listen to me, and listen good.  I understand that you worry about me, and my career, and while I have no idea why you do it, I appreciate your concern—I do.  But believe me, I’m not going to do anything stupid that could jeopardize my career.

Earnest:  I know, but Reynolds—

Wry:  He’s scum, Earnest.  Actually, he’s worse than scum; he’s a piece of shit that even scum doesn’t want to associate with.  And one day, a few years from now, when your little boy is older, he’ll like to go to the playground, and you’re gonna be aware that there are other pieces of shit out there just like Reynolds—who hang around daycares and playgrounds and watch little boys and girls, and think horrible, disgusting thoughts.  Tell me—just tell me—that wouldn’t make you want to bash the guy’s face in if you had him in front of you.