Midnight {*COMPLETE*}

S I X

  "Yeah?"

"I can't really do much about your situation tonight, but..."I hesitated. I hoped he couldn't see my face turning red. "I don't want you to go." I kinda spit that last part out nervously. He smiled and reached across to do that ghostly finger-trailing thing that made my stomach so weak.

"I don't want to go either." My heart thumped happily. I couldn't remember ever having a crush this strong.

Jamie and I talked for hours. We had abandoned the topic of Gray Turner, but there so much else we could learn about each other. I told Jamie how I realized I was gay, and how I ended up at Sigma Epsilon instead of where I wanted to be, which had been basically anywhere else. He asked me if the brothers knew about me, and I laughed. Things in the world had changed so much, as far as acceptance goes, but in the world of fraternities, it may as well have still been nineteen fifty-nine.

Jamie told me funny stories about some of the brothers who had lived in this room over the years. I laughed at stuff that I would be totally embarrassed by if anyone knew them about me. Then I thought about what I had been doing in the room since I had moved in. My face turned red when I realized exactly how much he could have seen. It made me wonder how often anyone was really alone. People would think a lot more about their actions if they knew how many invisible eyes were on them!

I finally fell asleep around four in the morning, glad that it was the weekend and I didn't have to work. Jamie sat next to me as I fell asleep, trailing his fingers around my face and neck and arms to help me relax. That tingly bubble feeling turned me on like hell, but it was also comforting. I felt myself drifting off. As I did, I felt what seemed like a half-kiss, gentle on my forehead.

"Night, Carter," He whispered.

"Jamie?"

"Yeah?" He answered. But he seemed to already know what I wanted.

That same half-kiss, soft and cool drifted across my lips. My body erupted in blissful shivers.

"Wow," I whispered. A ghostly chuckle drifted across my bed. Jamie was gone.

The next day I went to the library. It was one of those rare beautiful crisp fall days when the sun shining through the orange and yellow leaves made everything into a dappled autumn paradise that was meant to be experienced. I longed to be out in the fresh air with Jamie, on that gorgeous autumn Sunday. He had barely left my thoughts since the first time I had seen him. I'd had a few crushes in high school, but nothing like this before. Nothing where the guy flirted back. No matter how improbable the whole situation was, it still made me happy. That butterfly in the stomach giddiness was so new to me. I loved it.

I wished I could spend more time with him. I hated that he could never leave the tiny room in our fraternity where he had probably spent his last minutes. It made me want to help him even more. I didn't really feel like being inside, but I knew I would have the library to myself on a day like this. It was the perfect opportunity to do a little digging.

Armed with the discs that held campus and city newspapers from the time around Jamie's death, I sat down at one of the library computers. I started with the campus papers, not sure of what I was going to find. Turned out to be quite a lot easier than I had expected.

Jamie had actually been kind of famous. Well, after the fact anyway. There were quite a few articles about the events surrounding his death.

According to the earliest papers, it was a suicide. His roommate had come home to find him dead with a rope around his neck, no note, no anything.

It was really weird, reading about the death of the guy I was getting to know so well. I imagined that a suicide victim may end up as a ghost with unresolved problems, but for some reason, that explanation didn't ring true. It didn't seem like Jamie.

I scanned the articles, in the papers, which varied from football coverage to a description of the fall formal. After the first few weeks, where there had been tons of sensationalistic articles about frat boy suicide, Jamie disappeared. That couldn't be it. Jamie didn't kill himself! I didn't know how I knew, it just seemed so wrong.

I got to the last disc, which held papers from December and January. I had basically given up but was checking for any possible follow-ups. I was shocked by the big heading splashed across the first page.

ALLEGED FRATERNITY SUICIDE TURNS TO... MURDER?

I read on, fascinated. It turned out the police had gotten an anonymous call with information surrounding Jamie's death. The case was re-opened. Turned out the investigation had been badly done all around. The coroner's report, which had been mostly ignored, stated the bruises on Jamie's neck were definitely not from a rope, and actually looked more like fingers.

The fraternity brothers were questioned again, more closely this time. Eventually, someone must have cracked. In the end, the police judged that James Douglas's death was a tragic accident, a Halloween prank gone wrong. Whoever ended up confessing said the guys had covered it up with the fake suicide scene because they were afraid of what would happen if they were found out.

What did happen was ridiculous, in my opinion. Since no specific brother could be pinned down as the actual "accidental" killer, they all got off with what was basically a slap on the hand. Some community service and a bad reputation. Not a whole lot else. The fraternity charter was suspended indefinitely, but that didn't even last very long as soon as the whole mess blew over. I wasn't even the victim, but I was totally enraged. How could they get away with something like that? No wonder Jamie's ghost was still in the house. I'd haunt their asses forever if it was me. I doubt I'd stop at moving shit around the room either!

I shook my head, unbelieving. What fraternity prank ends up in someone being strangled to death? It was horrible, but I thought there was probably still something more to the story. Something even the guy who cracked wouldn't tell. I printed the articles. Hopefully, when he saw them, Jamie would remember. I felt horrible. Who wants to remember the day they died? This was probably going to be awful for him.

As I put my stuff away and headed for my room, I thought about the anonymous caller. It had to be Gray. There was no other explanation. He wouldn't have wanted Jamie to be forever known as the kid who killed himself. That still didn't explain why Jamie felt so angry towards him...unless he was involved. The idea that Gray Turner could have had a hand in getting his boyfriend killed made my stomach turn.

I fell asleep on my bed waiting for him. He showed up at midnight, right on time. I was so happy to see him, I grinned. My pulse did a crazy little dance, and I could feel myself getting hard just remembering that gentle little brush of a kiss last night. I wanted so much more! Jamie seemed happy to see me too. I hated to ruin his smile with the copied articles that I had hidden in my backpack. I knew he'd get upset, and I didn't want him to disappear again.

I couldn't do it though. It was too important to him. As much as I wanted to be selfish and enjoy my time with Jamie, I knew I had to help him solve his own mystery. That meant showing him the articles.

"So..." I began, wanting so desperately to hesitate so I could see his gorgeous smile for just a few more minutes.

" You found something, and it's not good," He finished.

"Am I that easy to read?"

"Let's just say I've had some practice lately." He reached out gently and caressed my cheek and neck. The violent surge of heat in my belly distracted me. I spun for a second, lost in pure sensation. "Carter." The sound of his voice cleared my head a little bit. "Tell me. I can handle it."

Reluctantly, I went to my backpack and got out the printed articles.

"First they said you tried to kill yourself." I placed the earliest article on the bed in front of him. The one that said Gray found him with a rope around his neck. I could see him getting angry.

"This is ridiculous. You know how as soon as you said Gray's name, lots of stuff came back?" I nodded. "Well, it didn't happen this time. I have no memory at all of wanting to kill myself."

"That's because you didn't." I put the second article in front of him. The one with the big splashy title. I watched him read for a few minutes, his expressive face changing from hurt to anger to sadness as he scanned the sentences. I could see the exact moment when he got to the part about there being fingerprints on his neck. The awful memory dawned in his eyes and his entire face changed.

"Jamie?" I whispered it, afraid to talk. I knew he remembered. He looked so very angry. It was the first time I had been even a little bit afraid of him since that first night when I could only hear his voice.

"Carter. I need to go. I don't want you to see me right now." I could hear in his voice that he was trying to control a towering fury. He needed to get away from me.

"Go, Jamie. But come back when you can tell me. We need to figure out how to fix this for you." He relaxed a little and looked at me

"I will. Thank you, Carter."