The Girl & The Hound | Winter Soldier

TWENTY ONE

Fear and courage, illusion and confrontation. A line as distinct as the shivers of a frightened body and the cuts of a scarred mind. I struggle to confront the empty side of my bed, but your love was the illusion. I struggle to confront my bloodied reflection, but you were the illusion. My blood stained clothes are real, your love was not. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid.

These were the words from Sawyer's journal that replayed in Sawyer's mind as she walked the streets, her hood up as Gunner stayed close to her heel. She wrote the very words in her hospital bed, crying and shivering with humiliation but now she relayed them confidently as she defiantly made her way to meet Steve and Natasha.

Hearing Bucky Barnes speak to her had changed her entire mindset, she had a purpose and her purpose drove her determination. She was completely driven to reach Natasha and Steve, fulfil whatever purpose they needed her for and then fulfil her promise to meet Bucky and take him back to the safe house.

Albeit driven mentally, her car was gone- the clanking of her aching legs a solemn reminder as she watched cars pass. Perhaps it was a mile from an inch to have expected Bucky to have retrieved her car whilst saving her life, but Bucky only had two hands or at least, one human arm?.. she cocked an eyebrow at the thought. 

"-Hey, watch it!" Sawyer suddenly felt her weight shift as a hard shoulder collided into hers, the force tipping her hood from her head as she spun on her heel from the outburst. Her eyebrows immediately knotted in confusion, her jaw clenching as the hooded perpetrator continued to walk away from her, completely un-phased.

She drew out a huff and glanced down at a curious Gunner, the German Shepard tentatively sitting at her feet as though waiting for the command to chase after the rude person. "Honestly, is there not enough room on the pavement?" she muttered to the dog like he would understand, casting a quick glance back at the perpetrator.

For a second, they suddenly glanced back with an expectant glance for Sawyer to follow, their red hair and piercing green eyes revealed. Sawyer furrowed her eyebrows instinctively before their stare intensified as a "come on!" which instantly alerted Sawyer as to it who it was; Natasha.

"Nat!-" she immediately caught herself, her eyes slightly widening as she realised she had almost blurted her name out loud in public. Natasha cocked her head in response, urging her to follow which urged Gunner to sprint after her, causing Sawyer to quickly glance around before jogging to catch up with them.

"Let's not do that again, you know, blurting out the name of a wanted criminal," Natasha stated emotionlessly under her hood, her sarky attitude still brimming to the surface, "it's not role call," she reprimanded as Sawyer furrowed her eyebrows slightly at her wording.

"Criminal?"

"Why was your car abandoned on the highway?" Natasha ignored her curiosity, "parking lots are a lot more low-key," she added, her eyebrow raising in suspicion as Sawyer cleared her throat.

"It broke down, I didn't have the time to wait for a repair crew," she responded confidently, completely throwing the truth of Gunner climbing out of the window and Bucky having to pull her from the car to the back of her mind.

Natasha wasn't swayed but she dropped the subject, taking a sharp turn into a shop door which caused Sawyer to deeply furrow her eyebrows. She followed her closely around the aisles before Natasha opened a door which revealed a flight of stairs, descending into a dimly lit room.

Sawyer hesitated, watching as Natasha moved aside to usher her in first. She stared down at the stairs, noticing voices but still slightly frozen at the aspect of the descending darkness.

The girl at the top of the steel stairs sobbed as the gruffly dressed man gripped her hair, the night air crippling her shivering body as he tightened his grip. Her grimace deepened as she folded her body towards his hold, trying in her best efforts to deplete the pain he was inducing as her body wracked with fear.

"P-please," she begged, her sobs wrenching, "it won't happen again," she pleaded, his grip only tightening further around her hair as he suddenly held out a knife to her throat. Her eyes immediately widened and she felt her knees buckle with a yelp, his grip on her hair pulling her up to her feet as she screamed in response at the agony.

"Please no n-no, no no," she yelped, desperation flooding into her as her body shook like a screen door in a hurricane. "No please, please can I just go home," she begged her boyfriend, "I promise I won't do it again," she assured him, begging for her life as he simply smiled down at her quivering body.

"I could slice your throat like a pig in slaughter," he calmly spoke into her ear, drawing her body closer to him as his breath brushed against his ear, pressing the knife closer to her throat. "Because that's exactly what you are, a pig," he muttered, his anger still evident that she had thanked the waiter when he had told her not to say a word.

She clenched her eyes shut, the only acknowledgment of her existence being the sobs that riveted through her being. It was satisfying for him to see her melt from fear in his hold, completely subduing to his control and willingly giving him such control to dictate her every breath.

"What are you?" he sneered into her ear, tilting her head so her neck was exposed to his face as her body wrenched every so often from the overdose of fear. Her eyes clenched further as it felt as though her tongue had betrayed her, almost curling up and refusing to repeat what he has called her.

"What are you!?" he suddenly demanded impatiently, yanking forcefully on her hair as she jumped out of her skin from the fright.

"A p-pig!" she screeched out, succumbing to the humiliation as her boyfriend smiled in content. Pulling her shaking body closer to her, he smiled into her hair as he withdrew a deep inhale of her scent.

"Well done baby, it's not that hard now is it?" he soothed calmly, softly directing her to look at him as her quivering body froze in place. "Is it?" he repeated a little more sternly, placing his hand under her chin as he forced her to glance at him.

"N-no," she muttered, too frightened to look at his piercing brown eyes. She could feel them scan over her entire face, noticing the blood and cuts that were his doing.

"Then why don't you listen to me, slut?" he sharply retorted, Sawyer instantly looking up in fright as she suddenly felt her feet leave the safety of the top step of the steel stairs.

"Sawyer?"

Sawyer snapped out of it, glancing to Natasha who was staring expectedly for her to walk down the steps. She blinked hard before drawing in a deep breath, placing one foot in front of the other before she eventually found herself at the bottom of the steps.

She glanced up the stairs to see Natasha secure the door, knowing she should just aimlessly wait for her at the bottom of the steps. However, the dimly lit room sparked curiosity into her and as she turned around, her eyes fell on Steve Rogers who's gaze landed on her in relief.

"Sawyer..." he breathed, his blue eyes peering into hers as she mustered a small smile and a little wave.

"Hello-" was all she managed to say before she was suddenly engulfed into an extremely strong hug.