Silver

Chapter 11 - then

After I had my microchip replaced, I was back at school the next day. Before the first bell rang, I told my best friend Millie about my operation, quietly, on a bench outside the classroom. She was surprised and said she'd wished I'd called her earlier about it.

By Family Matters class she'd forgotten all about my operation. She passed me a picture of a bride in a long, strapless, fitted white dress that she'd cut out of a bridal magazine. 'I'm thinking about wearing something more classic,' she said.

'You mean, more mainstream?'

'I mean classic,' she repeated, a little gruffly. 'We may not be into Lolita all our lives.'

This sounded very mature from someone who was almost obsessive about having the latest Lolita bell-shaped skirts, ruffled shirts, knee-high socks or print dress.'You should be proud of who you are and how you dress,' I said. 'You shouldn't have to hide the real you from your husband.'

Millie dragged her hand through her thickly-parted, straightened-this-morning dark hair. 'I am proud.'

'I've seen a great outfit on btssb.com. It's white cotton, with white lace around the bodice, a knee length bustle-skirt, with a few layers of thick red lace. It's just gorgeous. I meant to send an image to you. I can do it tonight.'

Millie twisted her lips to the side.

'I don't know. I don't want to regret what I wear on my wedding day.'

I was astounded. Millie was the most die-hard Lolita I knew. The style had a long history in Japanese cos-play culture, and being part Japanese, it was her that converted me into it. She even wore matching bloomers under her outfits. I'd thought her wedding day would have been the perfect opportunity to go all out with it. I'd imagined her with a pure white bonnet and a frilly carousel, with a couple of ribbons hanging from the handle.

But it wasn't just her wanting to wear something mainstream that I had an issue with, it was how excited she was over this whole damn wedding business. She called it the 'big day', and embarked in endless one-way discussions about the design of the wedding invitations, the colour of the napkins, whether she should walk down the aisle with just her father, or both parents.

What I really wanted to discuss was how she was going to cope with marrying a boy she'd never met before. For now, it was all about the 'big day' but that is just one day. She was going to have a lifetime with this person.

'Mum and I are meeting with the dressmaker on the weekend, you can come along, if you like, we'll be talking about the bridesmaid dresses too.'

I didn't feel like meeting with the dressmaker this weekend and having a gushfest over some stupid mainstream dress and the 'big day'.

'I would love to,' I said, 'but I've got plans with dad on Saturday.'

The look on her face made me feel bad. I was failing in my role as head bridesmaid. 'I'll come along some other time. There will be plenty more opportunities. It's best you meet with her first to discuss your dress, then we can style the bridesmaid dresses around yours.'