Truthful, Beating Heart

Chapter Fourteen

Tony was soon at my house. I didn't know if I wanted him to come in or stay out in the cold. How could I just let go of everything I had felt for Tony, even after everything that had happened. Finally I told Bree, who had been yelling at him near the door, to let him in. He walked over to where I was leaning against the wall, forehead against the cool window. He put his hand on my shoulder and I shuttered involuntarily, remembering the hands that had held up my head. I shook him off and pushed by him. I stopped again a few paces away. I shook my head and tears filled my eyes again as I said,

"Why? After all these years, you and your brother nearly kill me and then you try to put a lost friendship back together? Did you want to hurt me worse? You left me when I needed you as a little kid, why not now too right? Was that it Tony?"

"No" He whispered, horrifyed.

"Then what was it?!"

He paused for a moment and then, "You might want to sit down. It could take me a while to explain."

I stood where I was for a moment, then I moved in the general direction of the couch. Bree took my arm and guided me to it. I sat and waited. Tony took a deep breath and began.

"You know the first time I left? Well we had to pick up and go quickly because my mom had just had a baby, Tori, and there were some...complications. She was born almost 2 months premature and she had major heart conditions as well as Down's Syndrome. Tori had to stay at a specialized care unit in New York where they could carefully monitor her condition. So we moved to an apartment near the hospital. Tori went through a few surgery's and was good enough that we could take her home. Mom wasn't doing well right after Tori was born either. She had been diagnosed with leukemia and that made everything a little harder for her body We had 5 good years and we were generally a happy and functional family. We thought Mom was going to make it. The doctors even started using the word 'miracle.' But it was all just a hopeless wish in disguise.

"Mom's condition started going downhill fast. Chemotherapy stopped working and finally we couldn't do anything but make use of the days we had left. They gave her 6 months and she made it 8. She fought till the end. We were all devastated of course but we thought we'd get through. But the day Mom died was the day that part of Dad died too. He started drinking and staying out all night. We could pretty much take care of ourselves by then. Will was 17 and I was 15. But the responsibilities that come with a mentally challenged toddler is a lot for a couple of adults and way too much for a couple of teenagers. We got by for a while. After the initial shock of Mom's death we expected Dad to get better and become himself again. He didn't. Will became the parent and I helped as much as I could. Two years went by and we dealt with it. Finally things started to fall apart, Will had graduated and was holding down a part time job and taking care of Tori while I was at school. I was trying to finish high school and take care of Tori while Will was working. Eventually the money ran out. Will finally confronted Dad about it and told him that if he didn't sober up and start taking care of things again that we'd leave. Dad truly did try and he held a job for about a month. He came home dead drunk one night and we packed up, threw Dad and the rest of the stuff in the car and drove back here. We dropped him off at a treatment center on the way.

"So...when the accident happened. Will and I had been racing home after job hunting downtown. The babysitter had called to say that Tori was having trouble breathing and she was weasing and coughing. We had to get her to the hospital and Will ran the stop sign right into you. We didn't stay because Tori needed a hospital and we stayed with you as long as we could. Will didn't fess up because he would have lost his job that he had just gotten for the township and that was the only income we were getting at the time. I'm so sorry Erin. I have hurt you so badly. I know that I don't deserve forgiveness but I hope that someday I can regain your trust, somehow."

Every cell in my body was overcome with all the feelings I had in me. Anger, sadness, love. I didn't know where to turn anymore. His voice from weeks before ran through my head. Listen to your heart Erin. Be open to it. I also remembered Bree telling me that my heart would always tell me the truth. I was so hurt by Tony's actions. By him lying to me and twisting my life in such a bizarre way. But I also knew that he really had no other choice. I would have done the same thing had I been in his shoes. He had suffered so much in the past years and I knew that we needed eachother. Neither one of us had been there for the other during the times we'd needed eachother the most. We had a second chance to make things right. I knew what I needed to say to him. It was time to defeat my trust issues once and for all. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves.

"I forgive you Tony. And I trust you." I smiled. "Until my heart stops beating."

Today I trust my instinct. I trust myself. Finally. ~Isabelle Adjani

The End.

Note from Abby: I hope everyone enjoyed Truthful, Beating Heart. If you stuck with me this long, thank you so much! Please comment to tell me what you think! The good and bad! Thanks again everyone (: Love you all!!