Got Your Tail (boyxboy) ✓

Chapter Thirty Three

[A/N] This is actually a pretty long chapter hehe.

I kept my head buried under the covers as Castus's footsteps approached from behind. He paused at the entry way and I silently cursed at myself for not having thought to close the door. I didn't want to talk to anyone, especially not him, especially not now. But instead of approaching he just stood there at the doorway watching me, I knew he was watching, I could feel him watching me.

The wolf in my simmered close to the surface and my fangs tingled the wolf in me begged to be close with my mate. It wanted contact, reassurance... relief? Don't ask.

I sighed and pressed my face in my hands. I tried to block out his scent as it slowly infused the space around me, I could feel his emotions in the air weighing down on me and I had to pull my head from the covers. I had to at least look at him.

His eyes pierced through mine as they met and suddenly I was drowning in a bowl of swirling colours, his eyes hypnotising me and drawing me closer. Every glace felt like another step towards him although I had, in fact, not moved at all.

I tried not to look affected, kept my mask of nonchalance on tight. But it wasn't fooling him, his face twisted into a grimace.

I scowled in my head, I couldn't let him pity me, I couldn't let him see that she had managed to hurt me.

Before I could break down I blurted out, "She's a right witch your mom."

His mouth twisted into a crooked smile, "Oh she can lay down some nasty spells alright."

I continued staring, questions filtered into my mind but I couldn't bring myself to ask them, they sounded too emotional, why couldn't I ask emotional questions? Why did it matter so much to me.

He stalked closer and immediately I had to tip my head back to keep the eye contact I was for some reason desperate to keep.

His eyes were comforting, so much solace and warmth twisted and danced in those heated eyes of his.

He could save me if I let him, I bet he could, but if I let him he might decide to break me and wouldn't that be much easier than saving me?

If I admitted, after all this time, after all the pain I'd inflicted on myself by looking back and living every day like it was the night following my rejection, if after all of that I turned around and looked Castus in the eye and admitted that I still loved him so much it made me cry at night, would it make me or break me?

Would my pride attack me for it? Would it humiliate me? 

Would Castus love me or hate me? Would he reject me? Does he really, and I mean really, want me for the long haul? 

Because...

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice... (This is a saying (proverb?) that Bush said once, most people know how it ends but for those who don't the second line is; 'fool me twice shame on me'.)

When his knee landed on the bed I felt the mattress rise a little and my skin felt hyper aware as he sat down close to me and our arms touched.

That little contact, just that little bit of contact, was enough to send warm shivers across my body. Like I'd been in the cold without noticing it and finally sat down in a warm cocoon of blankets and hot water bottles.

I absentmindedly inhaled the air, even without the scent there was something lighter about it when Castus was around.

Was his mother right? Could he still be manipulated like that? Surely he was an adult now and couldn't be pushed around like that, but if he'd been exposed to all of that his whole life... wouldn't it be a pretty hard habit to break?