Be My Christmas Grinch

Dang it, Santa

Mason took me down the street where I spent ten minutes looking for a new, white sweater to buy. Then after that he invited me to his neighbor's holiday party as our "date." Apparently, he has to go and it would make him feel better if I went with him. I said yes.

A holiday party... I hate those, but I like Mason. So maybe, just maybe, it'll work out for the better. It's on Friday night, a Christmas Eve Eve party. Yes, there are supposed to be two eves in that sentence.

It's at some house in the Hillberry neighborhood. Which is kind of random because that's right near where my parents live, as well as Mr. Gullible, but we don't speak of him.

It's also "ugly sweater" themed, so Mason bought me one of those as well. I tried to tell him I would never be caught dead in an ugly sweater, but he convinced me otherwise.

By the time I finally made it home, I was exhausted and it was only three o'clock. I finally changed into some comfortable pajamas just in time to realize I accidentally took home Mason's jacket.

I texted him, but all I got back was:

Mason: keep it

I did some business at home. Answering emails, paying my bills, doing some house chores, and binge watching How I Met Your Mother before I was finally faced with one thing.

The big, cardboard box.

It was time.

I had gotten the usual texts from Mr. Gullible, but I had been doing my best at ignoring them. However, this box would certainly open a nice, big door down memory lane. Yes, it had been six years since me and him dated, but for Mr. Gullible himself, well, he still thinks we're dating apparently.

I retrieved a pair of box cutters and sliced the tape that sealed the box. With the box in my lap, I opened the top slabs and was immediately greeted with an awful, foul smell. When I looked in the box I nearly threw up.

"Ew!" I screamed. I had gotten up now, and thrown the box onto the floor as I made my escape to the opposite side of the room. From ten feet away, I eyed the brown box with disgust.

"What kind of freak..." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Once I had regained my nerves and pushed the puke back into my stomach, I approached the box. I picked it up with one hand, using the other to plug my nose.

Then, I stepped out my front door and onto the steps that lead to the street. I didn't care if I was in my pajamas, this was not a thing I was going to unveil in my clean, germ-free home.

I put the box down on the stairs, and sat down beside it, still plugging my nose. It was freezing cold outside, but I just wanted to get this over with. I opened up the top slabs again, and pulled out what was a glass aquarium with two dead fish inside.

They floated, belly up, on top of the sloshing water. I quickly put the aquarium down, once again holding in puke. I continued on, pulling out two different kinds of fish food, fake coral for the aquarium, a gift card to our local pet store, and a big envelope, addressed to your's truly.

With my back to the dead fish, I opened the blue envelope, which he had hand drawn waves and fish on. Inside was a Christmas inspired hallmark card.

Suddenly, the wind shifted and the same foul smell surprised me and made my nostrils burn. I ran inside, the card in hand, and slammed the door shut behind.

"Lord help me."

I sat down on the couch again, with my fireplace in front, and opened the card.

-

Hi, it's me Gabby. Welcome back from story land to my depressing living room, on my worn out couch, where I have been sitting and thinking about this unfortunate turn of events. It's all come back full circle as you can see, and now you know the story. It's been a rough one for me, and you'll never guess what that Hallmark card was an invitation too.

That's sarcasm for: you actually wouldn't be surprised at all.

It was my invitation to Mr. Gullible's Christmas Eve Eve holiday party, where all guests must wear ugly Christmas sweaters...

Do you see my predicament?

I am a hard working girl. So tell me why, this holiday season, when I've done nothing but work my butt off, I'm the girl getting coal for Christmas.

Listen, I know I'm not the jolliest of folks, but I just thought that maybe, by some inexplainable miracle, I could be merry and happy for once. I had this crazy idea that someone could be my Christmas grouch this season, and possibly warm my own teeny, tiny grinch heart.

Heck! I thought I was going to get lucky for once when I ran into Mason, but here we are again. Stuck in the Christmas cycle. Me, Mason, two dead fish, a hallmark card ripped in half, and Mr. Gullible with one week left until Christmas day.

Dang it, Santa! I promise I've been a good girl! So take me off the naughty list.

Hi, it's me, the author...

Welcome to The End. I don't want it to be the end and hopefully neither do you... So if you want another short story (aka sequel) VOTE and COMMENT right here, so I can get an idea of how many people would like more.

For those who are confused, here's a quick summary of what happened:

Gabby Dime doesn't like the holiday season. She much rather become the CEO of her own company, but quite frankly that's not how life works out to be sometimes. We open up the story with the very last scene, you know, just so I can confuse people.

She reads the hallmark card sent via Mr. Gullible (aka her ex, Josh Davis.) Then goes into narrative about how much she hates the holidays.

We learn about what previously happened to her, kind of like when that show your binge watching gives you a reminder of what happened last episode.

This is where we learn about Mr. Gullible and his unconditional love for Gabby... And how much in return Gabby hates Mr. Gullible.

Then we transition into her work life. Where she meets Mason for the very first time. Guess what, she really likes him... Otherwise we wouldn't have a story!

She goes home and tells Kristy (her best friend) who then hacks her Blackberry. Yes, she had a blackberry because this was 2013 folks. Kristy sets up a date/coffee lunch with Mason.

Gabby although mad at Kristy goes on said date/coffee lunch. Where awkward things happen and then WALAH! Possible love is born.

So, while all this is happening Mr. Gullible sent Gabby a gift (aka the cardboard box) which Gabby opens later on to find what used to be happy, cute fish that have since starved...because I mean they were put through the mail system and some how expected to survive.

Anyway, along with the dead fish comes a card, which leads us all the way back to the opening scene. Where Gabby rips some sort of card in half... And now you know. It was her invite to Mr. Gullible's party which she will have to go to because she already promised Mason she would.

Sooo are you still confused? Well, that's just too bad, because the holiday season is confusing... so get over it.

Much love, and thanks for reading!

P.S. Remember to let me know if you want a sequel (: