When We Bloom

IV

NOV. 29TH

I had to stop halfway through yesterday because the doctors called me. They don't think you're going to make it, Ada.

What the hell?

I can't believe it.

Ada, what—why—

Why did you have to go and get shot? What is wrong with this world? [angry exhale]

Why did the universe pick you? Why couldn't it just—anyone else, I'd be fine with, but not you, Adalina Moretti. Why you?

I can't believe—I'm crying. I'm not supposed to cry, Ada. My body is not supposed to do these things without my permission. My fingers, my tears—finely tuned instruments, a tool of precision. 

Akane taught me that when I began playing the violin. Be thin, nimble. Let your fingers dance. Let the music honey your throat and spin in the air. I didn't listen to her at first, because I was fourteen and in my rebellious stage. "I'm your older sister, dumbass," Akane said. "Listen up, you little punk." 

Do you remember Akane? Of course you do. 

A few weeks after I wrote my article on Margot Moretti, the daughter of a Metallicorp senior VP, Akane brought home her new girlfriend. "Mom, Dad, Keiji," said Akane, "this is my girlfriend, Adalina." 

You walked in, and you smiled at all of us. "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Narita, and Keiji." You didn't stumble or trip over my name. It rolled out of your mouth languidly. 

"Ada?" I blurted out.

Akane glanced at me strangely. "Kei, you know her?"  

"We met," I said, "briefly." 

We all sat down around the table. Dad began to speak English clumsily, the words still heavy rocks on his tongue, still accustomed to the Japanese vowels. Mom, a California native, placed an encouraging hand on his back.

"Ada-lina, right?" said Dad. His words lurched haltingly into each other.

"Yes," you said, grinning. I could hardly take my eyes off of you. "But you can call me Ada." 

"How old are you, Ada?" said Mom. 

"I'm twenty-seven," you said. "I just graduated from medical school. Right now, I'm an intern at the Santiago Grace Hospital."  

"She's a genius, Dad," Akane said. "I met her at the coffee shop last week. She was the valedictorian at her med school." 

"A doctor!" marveled Dad. 

"We want you and Akane to know," said Mom, "that even though your relationship is... not the kind of relationship we expected our daughter to have, we support you two." 

"They thought I was straight," Akane explained, "and you were my straight friend." 

"Well, they're half-right," you said. "I bat for both teams." You laughed, then, and an upper incisor was slightly chipped.  

There was a sinking feeling in my gut, and I wondered why Akane got to you first. Ada, the truth is, I started loving you long before you even stared into my eyes and saw the stars. Don't make me stop now. Please, Ada.

The world is a cruel place. 

-

willa holland as ada moretti