Happiness

The third child (Part 1)

The day Hakuryuu became a father for the third time had been a nice day. It wasn't cold but neither was it sweltering like the day his daughter had been born. Unfortunately, his wife felt not too well. Seeing his wife unwell made him sad and let him feel useless. There was nothing he could do for her besides holding her hand and telling her how much he loved her. Well, and he would cook all her favorite meals no matter how healthy they were or not. Normally, he looked out for a healthy diet, but when his wife was already unhappy and unwell he would do everything to bring back her smile. He loved her smile so much. His daughter had her mother's smile. Those two were very similar. His son's smile remembered him of Hakuren. Hopefully, his third child would have a nice smile as well.

Before Hakuryuu left his wife to attend two appointments in the city – one was a negotiation and the second was just a meeting to see how the reformations worked out – he gave her a kiss and assured her that he would be back as soon as possible. Not that she needed this reassurance. It was Hakuryuu himself that needed it. Leaving his wife while she was not well was a horrible thought for him. His fears of her getting harmed and him being unable to prevent it or at least help her nagged at him. He hadn't been capable to save those who were dear to him in the past and now that he was stronger and definitely capable doing so he still feared for the worst, because all his strength was for nothing if he wasn't with her when needed.
Hakuryuu also said goodbye to his kids who were a little bit upset that he left since they always had something to show to their parents. In the end those two did not need anyone to entertain themselves for a whole day and as long as their parents would look at their work or listen to their stories at the end of the day everything was fine. But playing with their parents was more fun.
Kougyoku promised to take care of his wife, their children and any important matter that might came in while he was gone. He couldn't thank her enough for that. She was such a kind person, not only to him, but to his family as well. No wonder that she was loved by his children so much and his wife was always so happy when she was able to spend time with Kougyoku. He hoped that this would never ever change! Finally having a loving family again was such a wonderful feeling that he didn't want to miss again.

The negotiation appointment was extremely exhausting. Hakuryuu was used to long meetings with a lot of listening even to the most ridicules arguments, staying polite, trying to find a mutual ground, repeating arguments and discussing things over and over again. Normally the discussions were expedient. Unfortunately, there were people in the world that didn't know how to discuss. And even more unfortunate was the fact that one of those people was his discussing partner in the negotiation. More than once he wondered whether that guy even knew what he wanted or if he was just putting words together. It was really hard not to freak out and force that guy to finally say what the hell he wanted. Regrettably he had to stay polite and calm. Inside he had murdered that guy a million times already! Because the other party was such an idiot the negotiation took longer than expected and they did not even get to an agreement or at least brought their opinions closer to each other. All in all the whole meeting was a total waste of time.
When the meeting ended Hakuryuu's mood was near the freezing point and if he hadn't been a civilized and well-mannered person he had jumped at anyone who would have approached him shortly after. He disliked nothing more than pointless meetings which consequently lead to nowhere. Wasting time was something he did not like at all. He could have used that time to do his work in the palace or spend time with his family or talk to people who really wanted an expedient discussion.

The next meeting was about the reformations that were legislate to improve the economy and the living standard of the population. For that he had to talk not only to the appointed representative of the difference town districts, but also walk through the town so he could see things with his own eyes. Sadly, people liked to tell lies, so he couldn't believe everything someone told him without checking it himself. Also, walking through the city gave him a better point of view on how his people lived and whether they looked happy or not. The conversations with the representatives were very nice and they had a lot to say. Not only did they talked about political matter, but also some private things. Doing so made the meeting more pleasant. One of the older men gave him a few advice regarding the education of his children and how to make a wife happy. Hakuryuu had to admit that he was surprised since most men and women in the Kou Empire were of the opinion that it was solely the duty of the woman to take care of the children. The Kou Empire had a very clear hierarchy and role allocation. But who could put it past them? They all had been raised like that. Hakuryuu was no exception. Thanks to his wife his point of view in this matters had changed. He valued the way he was raised, but for him it was more important that people were themselves. Everyone should live their lives like they wanted and everyone was different. In the past those thought might not have always came to shine, but that was how he had always felt and thought.

When he was about to end the meeting with the last representative a servant came running to him. Out of breath the servant told him that the empress was about to give birth to her child.
Under normal circumstances Hakuryuu would be happy about the news, but the circumstances were not normal. It was way too early for his third child to be born. Didn't the physicians say that the child would be born in about two months? Why he was child already coming? Was his wife alright? Was the child alright?
He started to panic! His face got even whiter than it already was.
Without thinking much Hakuryuu ran to his horse – it was pure luck that the meeting was about to end anyway and therefore the horses were already prepared for the way back – and had it gallop to the palace. Not that the way was so long, but he wanted to be with his wife as soon as possible. He needed to know what exactly was wrong. Maybe there was something he could do – probably not, but who know.

Hakuryuu running through the hallway was nothing new. But as soon as he reached the infirmary he was instantly pushed out of the room again. Of course, he became more worried and mad at the doctors, but he knew better than to get inside again. He probably would only be in their way. In the few seconds he had been inside he had seen Kougyoku at his wife's side, so at least his wife was not alone, but she had also been in pain.

While waiting outside he paced up and down the hallway wondering what was going on. His mind was full of all possible horrible outcomes. Of course, he tried to calm himself down, but he wasn't successful at all. If he would pace up and down any longer the floor of the hallway soon would have a hole in it. Sitting down was not an option! He needed to be ready for whatever might be. What if his wife asked for him? Then he needed to be by her side instantly! No second was allowed to be wasted!

One could almost pity the nurse who had the dubious luck of telling him that his wife gave birth to a son, but her condition wasn't good. His son was born too soon, so a doctor was checking whether the boy was alright. Of course the young prince would need special treatment, but as long as nothing else was wrong there was nothing to worry about. Preterm birth was not unknown to the nurses and physicians of the palace, therefore they knew what they had to do. When Hakuryuu asked whether there was something he could do the nurse told him to just sit down and wait. Hence there was nothing for him to do besides not being in the way of others.

Every passing minute felt like hours to Hakuryuu and the constant switch between "everything will be fine" and "I only bring disaster to others" was exhausting, annoying, confusing and definitely wasn't calming him down. The nurse had brought him a chair, but as soon as he sat down he jumped up again. He needed something to do! Some distraction would be nice, but he knew no one to distract him and doing it himself didn't work out – he tried it he whole time and failed hard!
When sister Kougyoku came out he immediately turned to her and asked her about the well-being of his wife and child. Kougyoku looked tired and a little bit sad or shocked or both. Probably both.
She led him into a different room and told him to sit down. He did as she told. She just sat down next to him and put her had head on his shoulder to rest. She was tired.
Shortly after a nurse entered the room. With her Hakuryuu's second son.
The infant was so tiny – Hakuryuu knew that babies were small, but the one right in front of his eyes was smaller than his two siblings had been. According to the nurse the child was alright and his wife was fine as well – more or less at least. Both needed special treatment for a while, but all in all both were fine. If he wanted he could visit his wife for a few moments since she needed rest. Of course he visited her, but not for long since she was asleep. Alive, but asleep.

However, even when his wife and child were both alright he couldn't stop worry about them. No one knew what might happen the next day or the day after. His worries were mixed with the feeling of happiness. He had another child together with his wife and there was almost nothing in the world that could make him happier.