Before You

Chapter Eight.

           

Days went by, and Hunter stuck to his word. He didn't contact me again, and I wasn't sure if I was happy about it or not. I knew I should be, because I was the one who told him to back off, and I know that it would be too weird with him and Jessica still dating, but somehow, in just one day I'd let him get under my skin and into my head too easily. I'd thought I was blocked off to the world and to men especially, yet I catch myself thinking of him all the time.

What doesn't help, is that Jessica is incapable of keeping anything in her life private. All I've heard about from her for days is how sweet Hunter is, how adorable he is, what a good kisser he is, how everything he ever does is just perfect and she totally could see herself falling for him.

Getting her ready for her first date with him after the strange night I'd spend with him was the worst of all. I'd gone to her house, the pair of shoes she wanted to borrow in hand, and helped her with everything. From what color highlight to use, which underwear, and how to wear her hair. Of course when she was ready she looked stunning, as always, her blonde hair braided to the side and smoky eyes making her bright blue iris' pop. She'd been so nervous, and the way she got the jitters and lost her nerve to go at all multiple times only made me feel like even worse trash than I'd already felt.

Jessica and Hunter weren't the only things on my mind though.

After I'd had some time to think when I left Jessica's house, I got home and curled up in my bed, still feeling scheevie, but I was also thinking of something Hunter had said the night before. So I guess in a way I was actually still thinking of him.

"You just need to find what's going to make you happy, and then go for it." He'd said. "You're too young to have no idea what you're going to do with your life. You might feel lost right now, but you'll find your way eventually, you've just got to be open to it."

He'd been so right, seeing straight through my insecurities and telling me exactly what I needed to hear. In my group of friends, I'm always the voice of reason, and the one telling them what they need me to to help them out. It had been nice to actually feel like I had someone in my corner for once.

So the very next day, when I snuck off to the bookstore to pretend I was in class, I spent the entire time on my computer trying to come up with a new prospect for me to focus on. I knew now that nursing was never going to work out for me, but I did know I still wanted to do something with meaning, and something that involved helping people. After a few career and personality tests, Teacher kept popping up.

I'd sat back in the chair at the rickety old wooden table in the back of the store and really tried to picture it. Me, as a teacher. I still smile when I think of it. I checked out the courses offered at Texas A&M, and was pleased to find a pretty good teaching program and I changed my major and determined to myself that I would start taking classes again in January when the new semester starts. But I hadn't stopped there, not when I was on a roll.

With my new found purpose giving me confidence I walked up to the checkout counter of the bookstore and asked the guy working if they had any positions open. Just like fate, he pulled out an application and explained to me that the other girl who worked there had just put in her notice that she was leaving. I was practically hired on the spot.

"Tay-bae?" I heard Jessica's high pitched voice call through the apartment.

"In my room!" I shouted back around the bobby pin that was between my lips while I pulled my thin hair up into a bun on the top of my head.

She swung open my door without knocking and smiled at me in the mirror. "Crap, I forgot today was your first day." She said as she shook her head at my brown 'Reading Land Bookstore' employee t-shirt. "What time do you have to go in?"