March, 4th
"I still love you..." He finally managed to say it and I smiled through my tears then replied him back with a, "me too."
He finally cried, cried his lungs out, then stopped crying.
•••
Yoongi has been sleeping on my laps for a few hours now and it's already a new day. I thought he'd have work to do so I decided to wake him up.
"Yoongi," I tapped his shoulder lightly and his eyes fluttered open slowly. "It's 8am, you have work to do right?" I told him and he sat up straight, rubbing his eyes.
"I'm going to get prepared now." He stood up from the couch. "Anyway, are you hungry?" He asked and I shook my head.
"Please go and get prepared, I'm just gonna—" I tried to stand up but I couldn't. My legs and thighs felt numb.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry, can you stand up?" He held my hand, helping me stand up.
I stood up slowly, leaning onto him. "I'm okay, I'm okay now," I released my hands from his hands.
"Aish, just sit back down first," He put me to sit back down and I looked up at him in curiosity.
He rubbed his hair slightly. "I'm going to get you extra clothes so just wait here," He told me and I nodded.
He went into his room and I heaved a sigh, laying down on the comfy couch. I wonder if my family will find me here... I wonder how long will I stay here...
I got lost in my train of thoughts when suddenly, Yoongi came out from his room wearing black ripped skinny jeans, a white shirt and a red & white jacket. He handed me his extra clothes and I accepted it, putting it on the couch.
I stood in front of him, looking at his face closer.
"I'm going to run some errands and do some tasks for my parents," He told me and I smiled, leaning closer to him and pulled him slightly by his collar.
His face leaned down closer to mine and I gave him a peck on his lips. "Good luck," I told him and he was shocked at first but eventually cupped my face with his hands and started kissing me.
I kissed him back without hesitation, I've always always missed this moment. His lips are just like before, small and soft. He kissed me deeper, causing my hands to move up from his collar to his hair, gripping his scalp.
He finally broke the kiss, smiling at me. "Don't go anywhere, okay? It's dangerous wandering around here," He told me and I nodded.
"I'm going now," He said, walking outside and hopped on his motorbike. He wore his helmet and I stood at his door, waving him a goodbye.
"You don't have to prepare anything in the house, just leave them there," He said, about to set off.
"Ya, I came to see you, not to clean the house so don't worry." I joked and he gave me his cute gummy smile. Oh god, he's so adorable.
I locked the door then went inside the house. I got changed into his plain black shirt and put my dress on the couch.
I heaved a sigh, looking at the mess on the table. There were papers scattered everywhere — on the table and on the floor.
I picked up the ones that look like rubbishes, attempting to throw them away. I took a peek on them to see what he's been doing with them.
I folded a slightly torn paper out to see a big title "Spring Day" and I looked at another one to see "First Love". So he's been composing....
All those torn and messy papers have either one or two verses but it seems like he didn't like them.
I collected all of those and put them aside. Then I saw two neat papers laying on the table, they must be the finished ones.
I took a look at First Love but there were only piano chords. I guess he's still working on it.
Then I looked at another one to see the date that said December 4th and a big title, "Spring Day". There were complete lyrics and piano chords.
I glanced at the side of the page to see the biggest letters among all those letters that said, "For Suhyun"
Is this for me?
I walked slowly to sit on the couch and started reading the lyrics. My hands trembled as I read the first verse and I realized that I'm already crying.
I miss you
When I say that, I miss you more
I'm looking at your photo
But I still miss you
Time is so cruel
I hate us
Now it's hard
To even see each other's faces
That's right, Yoongi. It's hard...
I wanna hold your hand
And go to the other side of the earth
To end this winter
How much longing has to fall like snow
For the spring days to come?
He's right. This spring. Another piano competition will be held at our school and we would be able to stay with each other more. It's because I'm his partner — I'm the one who sings beside him. So he'll go to Seoul and compete, then come back to Daegu?
Did you change?
Or did I change?
I hate even this moment that is passing
I guess we changed
I guess that's how everything is
Yeah I hate you
Although you left
There hasn't been a day that I have forgotten you
Honestly, I miss you
But now I'll erase you
Because that will hurt less than resenting you
Yoongi....
Snowflakes are falling
Getting farther away
I miss you, I miss you
How much more do I have to wait?
How many more nights do I have to stay up?
Until I can see you?
Until I can meet you?
Past the end of this cold winter
Until the spring comes again
Until the flowers bloom again
Stay there a little longer
Stay there
Baby.... I'm still hanging here, I have never even once given up on you.
