Lakehouse

Chapter Twelve

A few days later, with no reports back from the police or news stations, I still had not returned to school. I think Lou, O'Brien, and I all mentally agreed that I was on a hiatus from classes without really saying it. They did not suggest it, and I did not ask about it. 

I had Delia over one afternoon after school because she had been calling me nonstop since she saw the broadcast and I never bothered to actually answer. We didn't really do much besides listen to music in my bedroom while she drew skulls that were sprouting flowers in her sketchbook. I just pet Snickers, who had fell asleep in my lap, and stared at the ceiling. She tried making conversation, but I really wasn't in the mood. Eventually she just hugged me and left, and I didn't even feel guilty.

I hadn't seen Theo since the day of the interrogations, either. We talked on the phone daily to check on each other and make sure nothing bad was going on, but the topic of seeing each other never came up in our conversations. I kind of missed him, just because he was he is my main source of comfort and support, and because I can not deny the fact that he's sweet and hilarious and very charming. I don't think of him that way, because I still haven't forgiven Jake for what he did to me and I don't want to risk it with anyone else and ruin any connections we have, especially Theo.  I consider him one of my closest friends, though, and being with him always makes me happier.

So, when Lou told me that the Lewis' had invited us over for supper earlier today, I instantly agreed.

We're on the way there now, the three of us sitting in our usual seats— O'Brien behind the wheel, Lou calling shotgun, and me in the backseat behind the driver's spot. That's how things have always been. Levi always sat on the other side of me, behind Lou. He would demand that we played the radio station that burst out rock music during every car ride so he could jam out to it along with the bands, and it would drive my foster parents crazy, but I always enjoyed watching him. It was one of those things that he 'lived for,' kind of like jumping off of roofs and sneaking off to parties. There was a liveliness that would explode in his eyes and take over his body and leave him looking indescribably happy. If only I could see the smile on his face now. 

"We should listen to the rock station," I peep, leaning forward so that my head is poking in between their seats. "I'm sure Levi would appreciate it."

Lou looks back at me. "I bet he would."

I stifle a small laugh, letting myself fall back into my seat. I let my eyelids flutter closed, my hands in my jacket pockets. "Just close your eyes and pretend he's here, singing along. It might make us feel better."

O'Brien sighs and in the darkness my eyes have developed, I hear the familiar beat of the bass filling the belly of our car. It shakes the interior, my foot tapping to the beat, a smile appearing on my lips. I haven't smiled for a long time— it almost feels like an underdeveloped skill. I let my imagination wander, searching for the sound of my brother's voice, and after a few seconds, I can hear it. It makes my heart flutter. It actually seems like he's here.

I stay in this condition, soothing myself with the imaginary voice in my mind, remembering how his hair was messy and hung down around his nose in length, sometimes long enough to be tucked behind his ears, and how the corners of his eyes crinkled when he laughed. How his eyelashes were dark and long, and for the longest time he had freckles sprinkling his cheeks until they finally faded away a few years ago. Remembering how girls would always stare at him when we walked by, and then when I turned around they would giggle among themselves and sneak peeks at him. I swear, every female that ever laid eyes on him considered him a god. This memory makes me laugh to myself, and then I quiet down and continue to recall things. How he used to tuck me in every night and peck a kiss on my forehead before I went to sleep as a little girl, and how he held my hand and made sure he was in front of me before we entered a new foster home. The way he would celebrate when he got a grade higher than a C in school. The look of adoration he had when he was around Julia. The motivation he had when he made a touchdown in football. The way he would lace his fingers around my back when he hugged me. The rush in his eyes when he did his "this is what I live for" events.