» foreword «

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trigger warnings;
mentions of suicide, and depression may trigger some readers.
it may trigger some readers about mental health and problems.

i am in no way sexualising or romanticising mental health, abuse or depression. i have studied and looked at the different types of depression and decided on the most convincing of them. i don't just throw in medical phrases i haven't studied. i know a lot about depression which is why i feel comfortable writing about it, even if it is a sensitive topic for others. if it is sensitive, stop reading.

read at your own caution.

time and time again, i'll repeat this:
this is fillie.
if you all are going to get hurt over this, then stop reading.

i'm not going to be nice about it because it is very much self explanatory. just don't read this. i've said this over and over, and if someone starts ranting about how unrealistic or romanticising this is, i'm not even going to fight.

this story is being rewritten to cater to readers who feel like their mental illness is being romanticised or abused. i can assure you that is in no way my intention.

i simply wanted to write a fillie story based off of one of my first favourite stories here, titled ten reasons not to die by ricelover.

this book's title is from i never promised you a rose garden by joanne greenberg. it's one of my favourite books ever about schizophrenia and mental illnesses and how to accept/not let it control you. it's an amazing read, and i very much enjoyed doing it for my reading log.

thank you for reading,
xoxo

pps: this is the third rewrite :)

DUE TO POPULARITY, THIS STORY IS IN THE PROCESS OF BEING REWRITTEN AND EDITED AS IT WAS SEEN OFFENSIVE TO SOME READERS.

A LOT OF SCENES ARE GOING TO CHANGE, WHICH IN TURN WILL SLIGHTLY CHANGE THE EPILOGUES AND STORYLINE.

started: 11/1/16
ended: 2/14/17

this story has been on one mess of a journey, and i'm honestly so proud that i finished it. i finished rewriting it. i finished changing it. i finished making it better.

yes, it could have been better, i know.

i hope that now, this story isn't being seen as romanticising mental illnesses because that was never my intention. all i wanted was to make a fillie story based on two amazingly written stories, which i accomplished.

a few times i've almost deleted this story. this is the third time it's been published, and thank you everyone who pushed me to update because there's this silly gratifying feeling of finishing this, of marking it complete.

as per usual, thank you all for reading. as a bonus and humongous thank-you to everyone, i've written one extra epilogue, one that travels a bit more into the future.

i really cannot stop saying thank you readers. you really honestly made it all so so possible for me to write this.

so thank you from the bottom of my completely too big heart,
xoxo

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