The Truth About Evelyn || ✔

.03

Aug. 31st

2:08 AM.

It was too warm in my room, so I went to the bathroom to take a bath. Taking a bath usually helped me process my thoughts. I locked the door, filled up the tub with ice cold water, stripped off my clothes, and immersed my entire body in the iciness. After I took my head out of the water, I stared at my legs, which were peaking out from the water.

You're fat. And such an embarrassment to humankind. No one's ever going to love you.  

I took a deep breath and searched for my razors. I knew they were on the side of the tub, somewhere. I had to make myself feel better. I just had to. The voices were back.

You're a disgrace to your family. 

Slash. 

You're such a pig.

Slash.

Your thighs are the size of Antarctica.

Slash.

To think of it, it's a miracle how you can fit through double doors.

Slash.

So now there are five new marks on my thighs. My hands were trembling. The water was stained with my blood. My thighs were stinging from the pain of the razors mixed with the cold of the water.

I stood up from the tub and rinsed the blood off my thighs before I stepped out. I put on my clothes, careful not to touch the new marks, and grabbed a towel. As I was drying my hair, Mom knocked on the door. She asked what I was doing and I said that I had a nightmare and I couldn't sleep. She told me to hurry up since I was causing a lot of noise. 

To be fair, I technically wasn't lying to her. I did have a nightmare. But what I didn't tell her was that I had to live that nightmare everyday.

-E