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September 9th

7:08 PM.

Nicole came over today. She brought a bunch of magazines and nail polish and makeup. She said we should start experimenting with all of these things so that we can be part of the "in" crowd. 

Little does she know that the "in" crowd has made my life hell since the start of my school career. 

I pretended to enjoy the paint on my nails and the foundation on my face, but all I could think about was how I felt fake. I've never wanted to try to put any of this on my body. 

It's like trying to put on a mask that I never wanted. 

We checked our faces in the mirror and walked towards the strip mall by my house. I don't even remember what store we were in front of when a group of three boys walked towards us. I felt like I was going to hurl. 

The leader - I presumed - was named Michael, the blonde's name was Dylan and the redhead was Noah. After they introduced themselves, they immediately started talking to Nicole, as if I wasn't there. After a few minutes, Dylan seemed to notice me and angled his face towards mine. 

He smiled. 

"Don't you have somewhere else you need to be?"

Those words hit me hard. And right when he said that, the other boys laughed, and asked Nicole if she wanted to hang out with them. Right now. She nodded and threw me an apologetic smile as she walked away with the group.

I'm starting to realize that even though people smile at you, they don't usually mean it.

-E

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