Rosanna

Girls, girls, girls.

"Wait, so all their names are 'Rosanna'? Dude, that's weird as shit."

I was talking to Jerry, my friend since college, about the somewhat-crazy week I had. We were playing video games in the basement-slash-my-sanctuary when he showed up without notice on a Saturday morning. Typical Jerry.

Jerry was far from who I was. He was a star football player in college, an average student, and a ladies man. How we became friends? He pays me to do his school projects until we got along playing football...FIFA Playstation, y'know.

"Can I have one Rosanna?" He teased. "Seriously though man, who do you dig most out of the three?"

"They're just friends, Jerry. Except for that Rosie girl. Not going down that road ever again. I'm paid."

"Is she fine-lookin'?"

"What? I really don't know. Change topic."

Jerry laughed, "That girl must be something for her to make you pee in your pants. Wait..she's not sumo-wrestler looking is she?"

"No!"

"Hmm...sounds like she's hot. Gotta see that one."

"Whatever man."

"Hey, so...which one?"

"Which one what?"

"Sunny or Anna? Who you gonna bang?!"

"What?! No. I don't think about that around them, okay?"

"Fuck you, man. This is why you haven't been laid for eleven fucking years! You're too virginal. Don't be going Steve Carrell on me when you get to 40."

"Hey, sex isn't everything, okay?"

"Sex is everything, man."

"I gotta love the person before we explore each other's body."

"Hahaha! That has got to be the most gay thing I've ever heard!"

"Shut up."

"So, that does mean you did love Pam?"

Pam was my ex from college. I met her through a blind date which Jerry setup. We clicked, dated a few more times until we got official. We were on our sixth month when we decided to lose our virginity to one another. After our third session of 'making love,' she dumped me.

"I had feelings."

"I gotta hook you up again, Marc. And go to the fucking gym. You look like a turd!"

"I do kettlebells."

"What? For 15 pounds? What are you? A fucking 10 year old girl?"

I didn't respond. The gym isn't really my kind of place.

"Do you relieve yourself?"

"What?"

"Dude, you do touch yourself, right? You're human. Eleven years, man. Come on."

"Hmmm..."

"What are you? Oh God, what is this thing next to me? Can't even touch himself."

I laugh.

The game ended with me winning. 4-1. I was the better FIFA player. Booyah!

"Oh, fuck this game! I'm the real football player!"

I laughed and get up from my La-Z boy. Time for lunch.

"So, what's with Monday?" He asked.

"Sunny."

"Alright! And Anna?"

"Monday, too. After work."

"You have to introduce me!"

"No way, man."

"Selfish turd!"

The weekend felt like ten years. I can't wait to see Rosanna.