Wild Hearts

Into That Roaring Night

I kind of stand there, mouth open, thinking of all the places to stumble into Ryder... I mean, at this point my desperate little arse just goes along for the hell of it.

Ryder points to the left I and follow his finger. There's an alleyway and I look back to him. Five minutes, he mouths. I nod and start hobbling my towards the alley when I stop. No way. Too dark. I lift one crutch, wondering if it would make a good weapon, but I'm no fighter. I think I'll just, just, uh, wait out front. Maybe on the corner. Yeah, sounds like a plan.

My heart pounds against my ribs as I set my crutches down on the wall beside me. Breathe, Aiden. Ryder's here. The world is a calm sea. His smile is a promise to lift me so much higher than I ever could go on my own.

I'm lost in reminiscence, of the assurance of my chin on his shoulder, arms folded firm around his neck as he carried me away from Hell and I think I fell a little in love with the elusive boy from out of town. The boy who skates and lives each day with all of his heart. The boy with an insatiable smile that melts your heart and stirs feelings in me I can't explain, but I know they mean I don't want to lose him. I want to know everything there is to know about him and to hold fast to the way he makes me laugh, how alive I am in his presence. Ryder is a beacon of safety and joy and meaning in the grey tides that crash against me, trying to silence, to defeat me.

A door swings open with a creak and I push off from the wall, glancing around into the alleyway. A single dingy light casts an aura of amber light across Ryder, resplendent in his fancy waiter's garb. He cranes his head left and right and then finally spots me, that infectious grin transforming his face. He jogs over, about to hug me when he stops, asking if it's alright to touch me. I consider, then smile, nodding. He throws his arms around me in a fierce hug. My chest tingles and pops like millions of tiny fireworks going off.

"Aiden, I've missed you, bro."

"Same," I murmur, almost stumbling over myself. "What's... Uh, what's with the hugs?" 

"I'm an affectionate kind of guy. The real ones get hugs."

"Real?" I muse.

"A hundred per cent. But if you hate them, like, I can stop..."

"No. No!" I laugh. "I don't mind 'em from you."

I'm playing cool but I love his hugs so much.

Ryder frowns as he finally notices my cast and the crutches on the wall next to me. "Oh shit," he breathes. "are you alright?"

I feel oddly touched. He actually looks really concerned. "Uh, yeah. Just a broken ankle. I can manage just fine."

"How'd you...?"

"Fell out a window."

"Aiden... Dude. You only have one floor."

My cheeks flush. "It was dark. Couldn't reach the ground. Found a wheelbarrow instead."

Ryder looks amused, shaking his head. "Proper rebel, you are."

"I was looking for you," I say, quietly.

Ryder pauses, lips brushing together a few times, the words hard to come by.

"Ah... fuck, I'm so sorry. I didn't—I mean..."

"Don't. You have a life outside of me—"

"—Yeah. A life..."

"—I'm just a loser."

"You're not... Dammnit, Aiden. Don't start on that shit again..."

"I am. And I was pissed. Like I was gonna find you in the middle of the night... I wasn't thinking smart. Or at all..."