Insanity Stains Red

twenty two

I lost track of time in that padded cell. I vaguely remembered the interview with the doctor once the sedative had worn off, and I knew that my stubborn refusal to even acknowledge him hadn’t helped matters. I merely sat and huddled in on myself, pulling my darkness around me like a coat and glaring at anyone who dared come too close. Needless to say, they deemed me unfit for human company, and locked me in a padded cell, white and clean like the inside of an ice-cube, though not nearly as cold, literally speaking. Emotionally, cold is about the only thing I felt. I had no visitors aside from those that delivered my meals and medication, which I stubbornly refused to take until they gave me no choice.

But with each day that passed in my solitude, my anger grew stronger, and with it, my darkness was able to take a stronger hold in my mind, until whatever neutral consciousness had existed was eliminated from me altogether. I became the darkness; lived and breathed in those shadows. Even the voices changed inside me and grew stronger. The doctors had not treated me for those, because I had not mentioned them. They had understood that I was dangerous, but they had underestimated just how true that was. I was locked within my padded room, but I was no way restrained. They had not felt the need to, as I did nothing but sit there and stare at nothing. But inside me the darkness grew, until there was nothing of the old me left. And then one day, something inside my mind went click.

I glanced at the door to my cell, knowing that eventually someone would come through it. It was slow moving – the medication they kept me on made my brain sluggish, but I crawled my way over to the door. The window in the door made what I was going to attempt difficult, but not impossible. I didn’t try to hide behind the door, which would be too obvious. Instead, I sat next to it, my back against the wall. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, feigning sleep.

I waited. I don’t know how long I sat still, long enough for my muscles to cramp up. But still I didn’t move. They would come. My plan would work, I was sure of it. After a while it occurred to me that the drugs were beginning to wear off – I could think more clearly now. That’s when I became certain they would come soon.

The door opened, and I moved, catching the guy by surprise before he was even halfway through the opening. I swung my legs out in front of him and grabbed the arm nearest to me, using the grip to pull him forward until he tripped over my legs and fell to the ground. He didn’t land as hard as I had hoped, using his other arm to break his fall, but I could tell it hurt him. I shifted my grip on his arm and maneuvered into a kneeling position. I could tell the guy was recovering from the initial shock, and was gearing up to fight back. I couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t attack if he was incapacitated. I twisted his arm back viciously until I heard the joint break. He shrieked and I released him, leaving him to huddle over his injury as I staggered out the door and raced down the hall, hampered by the last traces of drug in my system.

I would have preferred to kill the guy; I knew that he would sound the alarm as soon as he pulled himself together. But I couldn’t run the risk that his shriek hadn’t alerted any of the other guards. So I left him alive and ran as best I could, hoping I could escape before the alarm rang out. Of course, it hadn’t occurred to me that the guy could just scream for help until someone came to his rescue. I mentally berated myself as the wailing alarm began to echo through the establishment. The signs on the wall were telling me there was a nurse’s station nearby. I headed for it. I knew it was a risk, but I needed a weapon, and besides, they wouldn’t be expecting me to head towards where I knew people would be. My guess was they wouldn’t even have any guards at the station; they’d all be out looking for me.

I stopped at the end of the hall, my back against the corner. The nurse’s station was in a big open area. I couldn’t just walk out into the open and expect them not to jump me. I had been right about the staff though, only one lady was present. She sat behind the desk, furiously typing into the computer. That meant she was distracted. I saw my opportunity when the woman leant down to retrieve a file from beneath the desk, and ducked down below her level of sight, sneaking towards her in an awkward squatting-crawl. I stopped when I had my back to the desk, listing carefully for any sign that she had seen or heard me. The tapping of keys started up again with vigour, and I knew my movement had gone unnoticed.