The One Where Shanks Thinks He Got You Pregnant

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Shanks was holding you to his chest, crying into your hair. "Oh. Um, what's wrong Captain? Are you okay?"

"I'mmm sorrrrryyyyyyyy!"

"It's fine Shanks... Uh, what did you do again?"

"I didn't mean to..."

"I'm sure you didn't, now what did you do?"

He whined, rubbing his snotty, tear-stained face on your hair. Making a mental note to wash later, you wriggled out of his grip and put your hands on Shanks' shoulders. "Shanks. Look at me. No, at me. There. Now tell me. What. Did. You. Do."

He wrung his hands together and looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry..."

You sighed. Whatever wrong his alcohol-addled mind had made up, it didn't look like he was going to tell you.

"It's fine, Shanks, don't worry about it."

"It's okay?"

"Yes."

He let out a huge breath, visibly relieved by your reassurance. "Okay... Okay, thank you, okay." He stood up and grabbed your hands, eyes shining. "Don't worry!" He said. "I'll take care of you both!"

Okay, what? What is he talking about? Shanks must be more drunk than he looks.

Mihawk pulled Shanks' hands away from yours. "Off, Red-Hair."

Shanks choked, looking up at Mihawk with fear. "I didn't mean to." He whimpered, shaking. "It was an accident."

"How on earth could you possible hold someone's hand on accident?"

"That's not what I *hic* meant."

Mihawk sighed. "God help us..." He muttered. "Alright, Red-Hair, let me hear it. What have you done this time."

Shanks was crying again. "I didn't mean to get her pregnant, it just happened! I'm sorry!"

You looked down at your stomach, confused. You had never once had sex with anyone, and certainly not with your captain. Probably just something he made up.

Mihawk was looking at you with a mix of horror and confusion. You shrugged. Shaking with blind fury, Mihawk struck Shanks across the face. The drunk pirate yelped and ran off, Mihawk chasing after him.

"RED-HAIR!! GET BACK HERE!!"

"Nuuuuuuuuu!!"

You watched as Mihawk tackled Shanks to the ground and the two of them tussled in the dirt.

"Maybe I should..." You mumbled to yourself. "Nah, I'll tell him later." You then walked away in search of food.

"Seriously?" Mihawk released Shanks from the choke hold he had him in, and your captain collapsed, unconscious. "And you couldn't have told me that before I beat him senseless?"

"Meh. He's drunk, he won't remember."

Mihawk sighed in defeat. "Fine. I don't care. But of all things, why on earth did he think he'd gotten you..."

"What, pregnant?"

"Um. Yes."

"What, don't like the word pregnant?"

He shifted and looked away. You laughed. "Hey Mihawk, guess what!"

"Oh no."

"Period. Pregnancy. Ovaries. Sex."

He ran away as fast as his legs could carry him. You followed after, screaming vagina-related words at him.

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