The Almost Rejection

16. Heart-to-Heart

I was nervous for this.  I couldn't believe this is what had been bothering her.  I thought it was something petty like how I was back and getting attention and she was just getting the regular.  I was so wrong.  I felt terrible thinking that about Jordan.  My best friend.  I had thought mean, hurtful things of her.  When in truth I should feel loved because she was upset I was ignoring her.  I realized how mean I was truly being to her.  Yesterday I came to her birthday party and spent it with Conner.  She must hate me right now.  But then again I knew she didn't.  Jordan would die for me and it hurt me that I had made her feel this way.

Walking into her room without knocking I found her lying on the bed throwing a tennis ball in the air and catching it.

"Jordan?"  She turned toward me and I could tell she was trying to mask the pain, regret, and embarrassment.  I knew her to well though.  I walked over and gracefully sat on the corner of her bed.  "I'm so sorry, I-"

"No you don't need to say that.  I should be the one saying sorry.  I didn't mean to ruin the day.  All you did was simple say-"

"No, it is my fault."  How could she blame herself after everything I had done?  "I am the reason you're hurting.  Conner did almost reject me.  I was and will always be emotionally scared by that.  When I came back you were right.  I did go back to him.  I'm not going to feel bad about that though because he is my mate.  One day you'll understand that."  I took a calming breath before continuing.

"It was wrong of me though to forget the one person from this pack, other than my mother, who helped me through it.  My mother didn't really help as much as you though.  Your my best friend.  My bffaeaeaeaeaa!" Bffaeaeaeaeaa was something Jordan made up.  It stood for best friends forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and always.  I know it was a mouth full but no one else used it so it made the both of us feel special and our friendship unique.  "I have neglected my duties as a best friend, hell as a friend period.  I should have talked to you, but I was to concerned with Conner and for that I am truly and sincerely sorry.  Even on your birthday!"  I stopped because suddenly a sob came up my throat.  I put my face in my hands and the next thing I knew Jordan's arms were around me. 

So there we were an hour later finally shaking off the tears that we had both let fall down our cheeks.  We had both let ourselves feel the other's pain while our arms were around one another. 

"Do you acc- accept my apology?"  I wiped the tears away as I leaned away from her to look into her eyes. 

"Of course, how could I not?  I love you!" 

"I love you too!"  We hugged and then just sat there a minute in complete silence before she spoke.

"I'm leaving," I felt horror seep through to my very soul.  My best friend was leaving!  Some how I knew she didn't mean to go change or eat or some other mundane task like that.  I knew she meant leave for good.  Leave the pack.  "Not yet, don't worry.  I just don't belong in this pack.  The only reason I stay is for you.  I will wait until graduation but then I'm gone."

"Will you ever come back?"  My voice cracked on ever.

"Yes, I just need to find him.  You know?  I just can't take all this waiting.  I know he doesn't belong to this pack.  But I feel him.  His unease.  He is searching for me too."  She took a deep breath and looked at me.  I knew without a doubt she was frightened.  Jordan hardly ever got scared so I knew this was a big deal.

"What's the matter?  He'll love you.  Your the strongest she-wolf I know and you're beautiful.  What's not to love?" 

"What if he wants an easy mate?  I am stubborn, tough, and self-dependent."  That was true and I got what she was saying.  Some wolves, not many, liked their females weak. 

"I'm sure your mate isn't one of those wolves."  Her face hardened at my words.

"Of course he will be!  I've never been lucky.  My mate will either be weak or will want a weak mate.  I couldn't handle either."

"Not lucky?!  Only one month after your change you came face-to-face with that she-wolf."  We all knew the story.  The she-wolf had been apart of a neighboring pack.  She went rouge and attacked her pack while her Alpha was away.  Killing two children and injuring an adult.  She was running through our territory to get away when she came across Jordan.  A little background on the pack she came from.  It was called the Dark Moon Pack.  They are the toughest pack in the world and for good reason.  There Alpha, Will, was the most skilled were alive.  He was huge and legend to have taken out full grown wolves with his bare hands by the age of twelve.  The she-wolf, Brit, was the most skilled girl in his pack.  Anyway, she came out Jordan thinking it was an easy kill.  Jordan wasn't just strong though but incredibly smart and outwitted Brit.  Jordan killed her in less than five minutes.  That's how many wolves knew of Jordan.  Not many believed the story though. 

"Hey, that was luck!  How dare you?  I'm just that good," A smug look overcame her passive face.  "I am a scary story that Dark Moon teens tell each other around the campfire."

"No you are not.  Don't make stuff up." 

"For real!  I heard them!"  She said looking happy again and leaned forward animatedly.

"How? When were you in Dark Moon territory?"

"It was around two months ago, I was chasing a deer.  I was kind of teasing it, letting it think it got away.  When suddenly I smelt a fire.  I went in that direction and around it sat a couple of teenage werewolves from the Dark Moon pack.  I got curious," more like noisy.  "So I listened in.  They were telling ghost stories and such, trying to get each other scared.  One of the boys said he had a good one and then told of a girl named Jordan from the Silver Sky pack," our pack, "And how she was so strong that only after a month of werehood she had taken down one of the strongest members of their pack.  Of course no one believed him so I helped by running in on them and they all screamed and then I came back all happy.  I mean who else in this pack can claim to be a ghost story?"  I rolled my eyes at her.  I knew she was telling the truth though because Jordan was an awful liar.  The only people she could lie to were adults and that was over like "did you do your homework?" and things of that nature.

"That is kind of cool," I had to admit it.

"I know and this one time..."

We finally were one again.  I listened and talked some myself happy that we were besties again. 

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