As Crazy As It Gets

V

Vote comment enjoy. Sorry y'all waited so long but its filled with drama 😊

"I want you to end it." I finally looked up at August as I straddled him. I played with the ends of my hair. I had been avoiding his gaze. Tears rimmed my eyes. I was having so many emotions right now. I knew what he wanted. But I can't just turn my back on Will. Just because now you're ready. It doesn't work like that.

"August I can't.. I-"

"I'm not gone keep doing this. This back and forth. I want you. I'm tired of missing you. I'm tired of having to act like I don't. I'm tired of seeing you settle for this wack ass nigga. You know what a real relationship is." I chuckled darkly as I sniffled.

"I know what a real toxic relationship is. If we wasn't yelling we was fucking and if we wasn't fucking we was yelling. I fell in love with your crazy ass. I let you take your anger out on me. I let you do that shit. I don't mean shit to you but a fuck or a punching bag."

"Oh really? I don't fucking love you? Then what was all of that for? I can get pussy! Whenever! And you say it like A) I've never made love to you. B) we was always fucking. I wished we was always fucking. Nah. I fucked with you cause you had my fucking heart my G. You held a nigga down my G. You killed a nigga for me! You think I dont recognize that shit!? I love you so fucking much. But after everything happened I was turning you into something you wasn't. You went from hating killing with a passion to a fiery ball of rage. And you took another life on yo own. I would've done it. Trey would've done it. Chris? Ty? They would've done it. But nah. You wanted that body. You wanted the blood. You thirsted for it. I felt like that shit was my fault. I was indirectly influencing you. I corrupted you. Changed you. So I let you be."

A single tear had rolled down his cheek. My emotions had already swallowed me. I grew angry. I socked his chest repeatedly, screaming angrily until he grabbed my wrists and planted them firmly on his chest. I cried harder as he placed his forehead on mine.

"But why? Why would you do that to me?! I felt empty, abandoned and just so... angry! I'd rather you yell and scream at me then to ignore me! You ignored me for almost two years! I was bleeding in your silence! I feel safer when you're violent and angry. Get mad, throw tables and chairs, pouch walls. I don't give a damn! When you yell and scream at me I know you Care! Its when you're quiet that I feel the most hurt. When you don't wanna love me."

"I ain't never not loved you. I pushed you away for your own good. But you moved on pretty damn quick. Messing with this fuck nigga."

"That fuck nigga saved my life August. You brought the problems to me tho. You created mess." His top lip curled up in to a mug.

"Word? Fuck off me then if all I do is cause problems." He said trying to lift me up off of him.

"No! Talk to me! You gone stop shutting me out. I love you so don't be mad when I'm speaking real shit. Be a man. Be honest. I don't give a fuck if it hurts. Talk to me."

"Im confused okay?! I never planned on falling for you. I don't give a fuck about people especially a new face. When you came I wasn't fucking with it. its different now. We done fist fought, argued, cried and killed together. I would lay my life on the line for you. A nigga want to hurt you he gone go through me. You ask me to pop somebody I'll do it. You want something? Anything, I'll get it. You just wanna be held? I won't let go. I ain't ever held nobody down the way I've done for you. You believed in my dreams. Still do. You always pushing me to do better. I don't have that no where else. Did I fuck up? Hell yeah! I'm a nigga. Fuck you expect? Perfection? You already a asshole but you an even bigger one if you expected my psychotic ass to give you perfection."

I laughed lightly at the end of his rant. I wiped my face and then wiped his. "I love you."

"Don't say that shit thoughtlessly. If I'm cuffing you then its fa life. You ain't getting rid of me. "