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"Tuesday’s gray,
Wednesday too."
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Zara hates me. I can feel it. What I did to her? I have no idea. But she hates me, she hates me alot.
Being ignored by your best friend hurts, it hurts alot actually, but being ignored by your best friend two days in a row? Bullshit.
School was exactly the same as yesterday, even worse, actually. She still ignored me, she still pretended like I wasn't there, but the worst part was: she made eye contact with me. She saw me there, she saw me wave and mouth hi, she saw it all. But Zara just turned around and pretended I wasn't even there. Afterwards I felt this pain in my chest and I wouldn't go away.
Fuck, I love Zara so much. And I thought she loved me too, maybe not the way I loved her but I still thought she loved me. Obviously I was so, so wrong and Zara doesn't care about me at all.
I didn't want to think like that, but I couldn't not think like that. My best friend was ignoring me, and not just for one day, for two.
It was lunch and I decided I needed to do something. I needed to approach her and at least try to make conversation with her, I couldn't live like this forever. So I simply found her. Usually at lunch she would meet me at my locker, and then we would go hang around outside and eat lunch by the big tree that stood near the school. Yesterday, obviously she wasn't there, so I ate under the tree with Michael and Luke.
I found her standing by one of her friend's lockers, and I swiftly made my way over to her. And she looked right at me, her green eyes met mine. It sent warmth through my veins, but I quickly shook it off and continued walking. I went right up to her, cleared my throat, and said "Hi Zara." Nothing too bad, right? Just a simple hello.
And she looked at me for a quick second, scanning my expression. She slowly licked her lips, playing with her lip ring. "Hi Calum," she said with no emotion, and then she walked away. I stood there in shock for a moment, leaning against the locker. I was happy. She had said at least something to me, even if it was only two words.
But I was also sad, she has completely dismissed me. If it were last week and I came to say hi to her, she would of started a whole conversation with me and then we would of walked to lunch together and she would always steal my bag of chips or something because she forgot her lunch. No matter how annoying that was in the past, I missed it today. I was just wished she would sneak up on me from behind the trunk of the tree, grab a chip out of my bag, and then run away laughing her amazing laugh she has, and then come back over to me and eat lunch with me again. In the back of my mind I knew that wasn't going to happen.
So I sat under the tree, feeling quite lonely.
Later that night I texted Zara three times, nothing long or complicated, just normal things that are easy to reply to.
Hi, how are you, and I miss you.
Sadly, she didn't reply.
Monday seemed to repeat itself, I played video games without her, ate our favorite snack without her, watched movies without her. Halfway through the first movie I put on I had to stop because I just missed Zara so much.
I didn't get why she had to play these games with me like this. Zara Anne was a mystery, and I still have yet to figure her out.
i have a schudele for this now woo
monday's will be on mondays, tuesdays on tuesdays etc etc yay
i feel bad for calum omg sad
