Harley Quinn + Joker OneShots

'Dear You'

'Dear you,
You'll probably never read this.
And if you do,
It'll probably mean nothing to you.
Because you're you.
This won't mean a thing.
Just a note.
A letter.
Something that you'll never read.
Or ever understand.
I know this, because I know you.
I know you well.
Probably more so than I have for awhile now.
You're you.
You've always been you.
At least for as long as I known you,
You've been you.
Before that, well, I'm not so sure.
But you're you and that's that.
However,
There has been times when I thought there was a different side of you.
The nicer
Kinder
Side.
To me,
That was the "real" you.
Now, I'm not so sure.
No.
I am sure.
I am sure now that isn't the "real" you.
Still,
Even at this moment,
I wish it was.
God, I wish it was true.
But at the same time,
It wouldn't have mattered now, wouldn't it?
That side of you,
The "real" you didn't exactly appear that often anyways.
But when it did,
My heart fluttered.
When it did,
Everything was worth it.
You were my everything.
You are my everything.
You know that though.
I know you.
I know you do.
You made me so happy.
Yet,
So miserable at the same time.
Your words could be sweet and delicately thought out like a perfect melody
Or
They could hurt more than any beating I did receive.
However,
I never was afraid of you.
You somehow managed to make even complete and utter darkness, be full of light and wonder.
I wish you could be holding me.
Telling me that everything will be better and I'll have nothing to worry about.
But,
That isn't you.
And that will never be you.
Sometimes I wonder what I was to you?
A game?
A lover?
A toy?
A punching bag, maybe?
I guess I'll never know.
Well,
I guess I don't really want to know.
Because I'm afraid I already do.
The simple fact that I mean absolutely nothing to you.
I know that now.
I guess I've always known that.
Deep down.
Never wanting to admit it.
But you've given me no choice here.
It's...
It's reality.
I wish I meant something to you.
Anything at all.
Just something.
But there's not much I can do.
I've tried.
I've tried countless times to gain your affection or at least somewhat approval.
But it's no use.
Changing minds is one thing
But changing hearts is a whole other world.
Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if you loved me.
To know that the way I look at you,
Is the same way you're looking at me.
To feel protected at all times.
To know I'm protected.
To be able to hold you,
To touch you,
Without hesitation.
To be able to wake up in the morning,
And knowing you'll still be there in my arms.
To know that you'll never leave me.
To know that I'm wanted.
To know that I'm needed.
I guess that was too much to ask for.
Far too much indeed.
I miss you.
I'll always miss you.
I miss the way you talk.
I miss the way you laugh.
I miss the way you smile.
I miss the times you held my hand,
Or held me close.
I miss your intelligence,
And witty replies.
I miss your quirky habits...
Like how you tie your shoelaces a certain way,
And how you would go over a plan 57 times to make sure it was absolutely amazing in every single way possible.
I'll miss the nicknames you'd call me.
I'll miss your smell.
I'll miss the way you played with my hair.
I'll miss you.
I'll miss you, even to the day I begin to rot away in my grave.
My soul will still ache to be reunited with yours again.
Even though,
You will not miss me.
You will not miss me.
Because you're you.
And you'll be okay.
You'll be okay.
I will not.
But that doesn't matter..
Because after all,
I don't matter.
Isn't that right?
I mean,
You wouldn't have said it countless times if it wasn't true.
You wouldn't have told me that I was ugly if it wasn't true.
You wouldn't have told me that I was useless if it wasn't true.
You wouldn't have told me that I was an annoyance or stupid or....or any of that....if it wasn't true.
I wish you loved me.
I wish you cared.
But darling, you were never there.
So now I'm gone.
I'll vanish into thin air.
As though I was never ever even there.
By which you read this,
If you ever do,
I'll have already left...
With everything too.
No trace of me will be left for you to see.
It's like I never even existed.
Isn't it better this way?
Isn't it truly better?
Isn't this what you wanted?
Maybe now you can be happy..
Since I'm not there?
You'll never find me or hear from me ever again.
Isn't that what you wanted?
Now you're free.
Like what you wanted to be.
I hope you're happy.
Now you don't have to deal with me.
Isn't that great?
I'll never bother you again.
Now you don't have to push me away whenever I'm near you or scream mean things when I annoy you.
Now you don't have to pretend like you love me.
Or that you care.
So I'll give you the biggest and greatest gift I could ever give you.
A world without me!
Because you're my everything and I'm you're nothing.
Because I love you and you hate me.
Now, I'm somewhere else where you'll never find me.
I hope you're happy.
I mean one of us at least deserves to be.
I just want you to be happy.
Even if that's without me.
You probably won't even notice my absence.
And you'll probably never ever read this letter.
It's almost as if,
I was never really there.
Yours truly,
Harley'
The Joker held the letter in his hand.
He didn't move or utter a word.
All he could do was stare.
Every word jumped off the page and rang through his mind like a curse.
He knew now, that he, The Joker, loved her.
And only one more thing was sure....
That he was going to find her.